04/02/2026
Absolutely love this! A long read, but very, very well worth reading, wherever you are on your journey!! 👌🙌
Tuesday Truths
Not everyone is going to the Olympics and that’s ok!!!
I’m not sure where our junior and young riders are developing their subconscious beliefs from but last week was a bit of a week.. I had five riders ranging from 15 to 27 putting themselves under enormous pressure to be elite level riders..
It’s almost as if their entire self-worth is centred around how well they perform with their horse. The little girls I once knew who would trot up to me bubbling with giggles and big smiles, flappy feet and arms on the edge of staying balanced and falling off… have grown into fierce young women who work hard and train hard to chase down their dreams. I am proud of these kids for their grit and determination, I really am… but geez… I wish they could allow a break and to be kind to themselves. All but one of these girls are not regularly coached by me, but i do believe their usual coaches are kind, encouraging realistic coaches.
Statistically it’s the one percent of the one percenters who will make it to the Olympics.. and only a tiny fraction more who will make it to elite levels of this sport. Added to that… the cream of the crop don’t get huge sponsorship or club endorsements like footy players.. No.. horse riders have to pay their own way. Some are lucky to secure private sponsors of philanthropic nature… but then often feel “owned” by those sponsors and at their beck and call.
To become an Olympic rider is an admirable goal and I’m definitely not trying to crush anyone’s dreams. BUT…. If you’re going to make a play for that level of competition you better have your finances in order. A trust fund, a shares portfolio or a strategic property portfolio is what you will need if you don’t come from an incredibly wealthy family or have substantial private sponsorship. So I’m not saying don’t aim high… I’m just saying you need to be smart… grit and determination towards your training, not even talent… will get you there without substantial financial backing.
So then we come back to the teenagers and young riders half killing their soul with sweat equity to achieve a dream they have never truly been educated on how to reach! It takes strategy, patience, incredible resilience, energy you didn’t know you had.. emotional intelligence, gratitude, compassion and a hunger from the depths of your soul to keep going. These traits are learnt and strengthened over time… patience being the big one!!
My first piece of advice would be - Go live your life!!! Horse riding is a sport you can set aside and come back to later. There is no age limit. Sure you might be rusty after a few years off but you can still get your old skills back and keep improving after a break!! If you have forgotten “why” you love riding then stop. If your horse has become a tool to create your success.. then stop! If you want to keep riding, great.. just do other things too.. make time outside of the horseworld to do other fun stuff too!
There is SO much more to life than being a good horse rider. And yes I know what I’m talking about, I trained under the Assistant Olympic Coach when I was 18.. I was a natural rider with A LOT of expectations on myself and from others as to how my riding career should go. I did my first Open Novice (that’s how old I am) and two star (old format) when I was 19. I beat elite level riders in the dressage, always fast and clear cross-country… sucked terribly at showjumping which always killed my placings.. I’d get screamed at by my coach for not performing how he expected me to.. I was treated like I’d just committed a murder because I accrued 12 penalties in my showjumping when I was in the running for a top three finish. I remember feeling absolutely worthless because “I failed” to live up to expectations… I wouldn’t get the sponsors I needed and I wouldn’t get to the Olympics!! To me at the time I felt my entire existence was pointless… because I kept dropping three rails at big comps.. my entire life hinged on a few painted pine poles staying in their cups or hitting the ground… absolute madness when I look back on it!
People looking in from the outside thought I’d already made it.. I was on track.. while I don’t regret that experience as I did learn a lot… it was some of THE hardest times in my life. Once I left that coach I pushed myself to my absolute limits, determined to not be the failure he said I’d be if I left him!!
I rode track of a morning, rode four client horses, my own and coached to 9pm each night. Competed every second weekend…. I kept this up for about two years… got the elusive private sponsorship, got into the Young Riders squad.. and my horse suffered a career ending paddock injury.
I completely fell apart. I lost what I perceived to be everything. I lost my status as a competitor, I lost my sponsorship and I lost my “why”. I floated from job to job for a while. Sent client horses home, sold the young horse I had.. and just drifted aimlessly.
I ended up joining Victoria Police.. aaannndddd was one of those souls who was an instant @$@! magnet!!! I got all the gory, hard core jobs.. at 23 years old I was delivering death messages, chasing gunman through shopping centres and rescuing babies from beyond abusive homes.. To say this was a reality check is an understatement. I’d come from an environment I was conditioned to believe it was life and death if the horse’s feet weren’t picked out… and now I was experiencing actual life and death first hand! It made me reflect on my sports training and laugh at how ridiculously intense the rider and coach was who I worked for. The pressure he put on us kids was nothing short of cruel…
The kids of today that I’m talking about haven’t experienced the tyrant of a coach I did.. yet they treat themselves in the same cruel way he would! I’m not sure if it’s the influence of social media or where they are learning to put so much pressure on themselves…but I’m here to say “stop it!” When I was 18, THE best part about training and competing with friends was the actual friendships. We cheered each other on, helped when needed and experimented with different training techniques. No social media, no screens at all really. (I did say I’m old).. I really hope the kids nowadays are sticking together and cheering each other on!!
Secondly - Enjoy your horses… have fun, it’s supposed to be fun!!! Remember “why” you started riding. Know that if you come last… nobody is going to die! Yes it’s a very crappy feeling to come last but it happens to most of us at some stage if you stay in this sport long enough. But no one is taking your birthday off you if you come last!! It doesn’t bloody matter… just try to learn from your mistakes, laugh at it with a healthy dose of black humour and try again another day.
You know who I find are the happiest horse riders? And when we’re happy I think we’ve won our own Olympics.. the happiest riders are the ones quite content at being average. Sure they want to learn and get better as they go, but if they’re one percent better each ride, each comp.. then they’re happy. They love their horses, they enjoy the friendships with other riders and they don’t dwell on it when the ride isn’t great.
Horse riding has become an insanely expensive sport. My aim when I compete again is to demonstrate how to have fun and do your best.. on a budget.. on a budget level horse…. I will never aim for the Olympics and will only compete as my finances allow. Why? Because I also love to have a life outside of horses.. I go mountain bike riding, I love to sneak off to an art gallery when I can, I love a lazy slow morning and I hate riding in bad weather.. I don’t have a spare million to get me to the Olympics and I really hate crowds.. so it’s not something on my bucket list. And that’s OK!
So… my girls… and occasional lads… be kind to yourselves. You have your whole lives ahead of you… take breaks, plan out your finances or get someone to help you do this… look after your health both physically and mentally and remember your horse is an animal who tries their very best to please in each ride. They’re not machines, they don’t deliberately be difficult.. and they need breaks too.
If riding your horse has become a chore… or you’re dreading your next competition.. then take a break! You can spell your horse and come back to riding later or take a longer break, sell your horse or retire them and see where life takes you without the relentless daily requirements of being a competitive rider.
If you’re like me, you’ll come back to it. I’ve taken breaks from riding over the years for three months here and there. It allowed me to enjoy my riding again, appreciate my beautiful horses on the magical level I did as a child… regaining perspective and balance.
Finally - It’s “ok” to be average… it’s “ok” to have a break and it’s “ok” to change your mind on what you want to do with your life!!! Just because you decided as a 12 year old that you’d become an Olympic rider, doesn’t mean you are failing if you decide at 18 or 25 or whatever age… that you don’t want to do that anymore. You CAN graciously bow out and change direction in your life. Horse riding is a sport… while at times it’s such a tough sport you literally think you’re going to war (with the weather, injuries, lack of funds)…. It is JUST a sport!!
Love the horse first… the sport second. And don’t ever believe you don’t have options!! If you are absolutely determined to go all the way, to compete at an elite level… then have a plan! Map it out, start with a five year plan and count back to where you are… build a training schedule, block out proper time off for both you and your horses, build an army of support and set out your financial plan too. If you have some direction, burn out is less likely to occur.
I hope this helps and makes sense the way it’s intended!!!
Pic is of me at 19 jumping a very large drop fence at my first Open Novice.. this little horse was only one of six horses out of 36 to jump this fence clear and continue clear and under time. I vomited from nerves before getting on… 😝
