Bridgewater Holistics Equine Experiences and Counselling

02/09/2022

01/09/2022

"What we don't talk about..." said Bear, "the things we try to hide from others and ourselves, becomes a shadow that follows us through life. And without thinking, it causes us to blame and hurt those closest to us for things that aren't their fault."
"It doesn't protect them?" asked Rabbit.
"No," said Bear. "In fact, it can affect many generations to come, all because we were only thinking of ourselves."
"Oh..." said Rabbit. "I have some things I need to talk about."
"Me too," said Bear, "I'll put the kettle on."

©Tara Shannon, 2021


***

How do these unspoken words manifest in current and later generations?
In many ways... substance abuse, mental health issues, repeating abuse, chronic illnesses, sexual dysfunction and other interpersonal issues; the list is vast. And many times we just brush it all off as an individual problem with that one person, not thinking about the bigger picture and how their difficulties might be directly related to our own and that talking to each other (and/or a professional) might actually help.

In families dealing with generational trauma, It's not just them, or us -- It's all of us.

16/08/2022

03/08/2022

01/08/2022

‘If you’re not sure what to say,
just say something’.
During times of extreme grief and loss, it’s natural to feel uncomfortable and unsure what to do or say.
Remember this is also ‘you’ dealing with the tragic loss too, trying to figure out where you fit in it all.

Sometimes there is a level of guilt and comparison…
‘oh I’m not family, or I wasn’t as close to them as others, or
I didn’t know them well enough.

Just reach out.

Never be afraid to acknowledge someone’s loss, you can not make it any worse by ‘messing up’ your words.
Those who are grieving are in it. (and maybe that’s you)
It’s their reality and what they are facing every day.

Your words will be comforting at some stage.

It’s far better to say ‘something’ at risk of sounding awkward, than to cross the road in avoidance, just because you feel a bit uncomfortable.

I know it’s hard…
If you’re not sure what to say try this
(If it feels right for you).

‘I’m so sorry, I honestly don’t know what to say’

‘I wish I had the words to make this better, but I don’t’

‘I’m so sorry for your loss’

‘I’m thinking of you all’

‘You are in my thoughts constantly’

‘Please know we are thinking of you’

‘If there is anything I can do please ask’

Give a hug

Drop off food

Send an inbox

Send a text

Send a card

Call

Leave a voicemail

Or simply sit with them, in their mess and pain. Allow yourself to ‘not know what to do or say’ and be ok with not being ok…
for as long as it takes. ♥️

Mandy x