23/09/2025
So beautiful and so relatable 😞❤️
Still…🐾💖
I am still coming to terms with it all.
Still calling her name to come get in the car. Still looking down from my bed, expecting to see her face—her greying muzzle, soft, worn and wise, chiselled with the many years we had together. Still reaching for the phone to call Mum and say, “We’re on our way”, even though, it’s just me. Still waiting for that familiar scratch at the bathroom door, because Ruby never did believe there was only one way out.
Still, my life is just…still.
I still grab a p**p bag and shove it in my pocket as I leave the house, out of habit. I still haven’t scrubbed away that stain she left on the car seat. And I still cannot walk past a pet store without wanting to buy her a treat or another comfy bed for her old bones.
I still wake in the night, half-asleep, thinking it’s time to take her outside for “toilets”. I still keep her untouched bed right next to mine. Because I can’t yet let go of the space where she once softly breathed.
And in the stillness, I see her face with its gentle and time-worn lines. The face that held me in its quiet devotion, as only a dog’s can.
That face that lit up just for me—because of me. The one who looked at me like I was her entire world. The one who loved without pause, condition or reason. The one who taught me what love really looks like.
I smile a little smile that brings tears to my eyes, because I still see her face, forever lit with love for me. Because to her, I WAS everything. And she, to me, STILL is.
She passed on June 20 this year. But I still haven’t really figured out how to pass the time without her.
So I sit in the stillness. I walk through it. I breathe it in. Not because I want to, but because it is what is left.
And even though she’s gone, her love still remains. It is woven into the fabric of my days and stitched into the silence she has left behind.
Still, I carry her with me.
Still, I miss her with everything I am.
And still, I ask the question only love can answer: what is it that leaves such a silence when it is gone?
Dearest Ruby, forever in my heart.
Be kind. Be kind like Ruby.
