07/08/2025
💔 What No One Tells You About Life When You Stop Riding the Horse That Was Your Whole World 💔
One day, I was tacking up Banksy like it was just another weekend, another show, another training ride.
And then… I wasn’t.
It didn’t happen all at once. First, it was little things. A lameness we hoped would pass. Time off that turned into longer than expected. Vet visits. Adjustments. Hope, frustration, hope again. Then slowly, painfully, the realisation settled in — we might not go back to how things were.
No one really talks about what happens after.
When the saddle gathers dust in the tack room.
When you walk past the trailer and feel a little hollow.
When your body still aches in all the places it learned to move with his.
When you drive past the turning to the stables.
When you wonder if you’ve lost the version of yourself that existed only when you were flying over fences together.
Here’s what I’ve come to learn:
You grieve. You absolutely do.
You miss that powerful surge beneath you when he locked onto a jump.
You miss the way he felt untouchable in gallop but still listened like you shared a secret.
You miss the partnership that took years to build — not just the horse, but the teammate, the confidant, the reflection of your soul.
You feel lost. A bit like you’re on the outside of something you once lived and breathed.
But slowly — quietly — you find your way again.
You learn that you can still be part of his world, even if it looks different now.
You find joy in the slower moments — hand-grazing in the sun, the way he still meets you at the gate, the cheeky spark in his eyes.
You realise that your bond was never just about riding. It was about knowing him. Loving him. Showing up every damn day, rain or shine.
You were never “just a rider.”
You were his person. His safe place. His constant.
And that doesn’t end just because the saddle stays on the hook.
So here’s to those of us in the in-between — the ones adjusting, aching, reflecting.
Whether or not I ever sit on him again, Banksy made me who I am today.
And once you’ve loved a horse like that, you’re never not a rider.
Not really.
You’re one of us. Always. ❤️🐴