Chief

24/02/2025

What is my greatest pain to bear?

"The one that no one can see - the pain of the soul." The one that no one understands, in which no one believes. One for which there is no cure, and instead of killing, leaves you alive to continue suffering.
Because once the soul is hurt, it will always hurt.
I may think I've healed, but it only takes one memory for the wound to open again.

23/02/2025

"I Couldn't Save You"

I'm so sorry I couldn't save you,
Though I tried with all my might.
The darkness came so swiftly,
And I couldn't find the light.

I would have traded all my tomorrows,
To rewrite that fateful day.
But time is a cruel master,
That steals what it won’t replay.

You slipped through my fingers,
Like sand in the crashing tide.
And now I'm left with the silence,
And the ache I cannot hide.

If love alone could save you,
You’d still be here, I know.
But now I carry your memory,
Everywhere I go.

07/02/2025

Happy Heavenly Birthday to my brave boy
Not a day goes by that you aren't missed.
The tap of your paws, the wag of your tail, the sound of your bark.
What remains is a gaping void where your presence rightly belongs.
The candle burns, lighting a path of spiritual return.

20/01/2025

They tell you not to be sad.
They tell you it was just a dog, not a person.
They tell you the pain will fade with time.
They tell you there are greater sorrows in life.
They tell you that you can get another one to fill the void.
They tell you not to hold on, that the important thing was not seeing them suffer.
They tell you to let go, that their time has passed.
But they don’t know…
They don’t know how many times you felt lost and alone, and their gaze was your refuge.
They don’t know how many times you sat beside them, in the stillness of the night, seeking comfort in their presence.
They don’t know how many times they were your silent companion when no one else understood your sadness.
They don’t know that they never judged you, even in your darkest moments.
They don’t know how many times their eyes spoke to you without needing words.
They don’t understand what it meant to wake up to their whimpers in the middle of the night, the fear in your chest that something might be wrong.
They don’t know how many nights they curled up by your side, as if their mere closeness could shield you from all your fears.
They don’t know how their once shiny, strong coat slowly turned gray with time, as if life was gently taking them piece by piece.
They don’t know what it was like to walk with them, just you and them, down a path covered in crunching leaves beneath your feet.
They don’t know the relief you felt hugging them tightly when it seemed like your world was falling apart.
They don’t know how many times they listened to you on your darkest days, being the only one who never grew tired of your stories.
They don’t know how many times you cried in silence, with no one else seeing but those loyal eyes that loved you unconditionally.
They don’t understand what it meant to come home and see them struggle to get up, even when their body could no longer respond like it once did.
They don’t know how many times you wished time would stop, just so you could have one more day, just one more.
They don’t understand the simple, profound love they gave you or how little they needed to be happy: just your presence, just you.
They don’t know what it feels like to see their time running out and feel powerless because there’s nothing you can do to stop it.
They don’t know what it was like to carry them in their final moments, with the same tenderness as when they were a puppy, but now with the sorrow of knowing this was your last goodbye.
They don’t understand the emptiness they left behind or the nobility of your tears, those that need no justification because they are the reflection of a pure, loyal, and true love.
Because they don’t know, but you do:
Your dog was never "just a dog."
They were your family, your friend, your comfort, and your home.
And it doesn’t matter what they say because you know it was a love that will never be forgotten.
🐾🐾🐾🐾

18/01/2025

Will you be waiting for me when I die, my old friend?
She sat in her quiet house, the once vibrant echoes of paws on hardwood long since faded. The air felt thick with absence, a silence too heavy for her aging heart. The leash still hung by the door, its owner gone. Her dog, her constant companion, had passed just weeks ago, and with him, a part of her spirit had been taken too.
She had always been strong, even in her solitude, but this loss was different. He had been her shadow, her quiet comfort in the stillness of days that stretched too long, her anchor in a world that had gradually let her go. His fur had grown gray as her hair had, his eyes clouded with the same softness of age, and when he left, it felt as though the last spark of warmth had flickered out of her life.
Each night, she lay down in bed, hoping, wishing to feel the weight of him by her side one last time. She would close her eyes and imagine the warmth of his breath against her skin, the gentle rise and fall of his body against her hand. But the bed stayed cold, and the nights became unbearably long.
She wondered if he was waiting for her somewhere, in a place beyond this world where the sun never sets and time no longer presses against the heart. She had always believed, or perhaps merely hoped, that when the time came, she would see him again. After all, love like that doesn't just disappear, does it? She whispered his name into the empty air, the sound falling flat, and waited.
One morning, as the sun climbed weakly through the window, she didn’t rise. Her body, worn from life and time, had simply decided it was enough. But in that moment, just before the final stillness took her, she saw him — her old friend, waiting for her as if not a moment had passed. His eyes, bright and full of life, watched her with the patience only dogs possess.
She smiled softly, the weight lifting from her chest. And as her breath slowed, she felt his presence again, warm and steady, guiding her into a peace she had long been searching for. Together, they slipped into a place where love endures, and time finally let her go.
Yes, she thought, I knew you’d be waiting.

18/01/2025

13/01/2025

Meet Me at the Rainbow Bridge
When you feel a little lonely
And all you want is me
Just place a hand upon your heart
And you know that’s where I’ll be
I know how much you’re hurting
But remember me and smile
I know we are apart right now
But it’s only for a while
Take comfort that I’m happy
Where the sky is always blue
I’ll be waiting at the rainbow bridge
When Heaven calls for you...

30/12/2024

Day by day I've just been hiding, smiling, pretending I'm OK, and I'm not.
I'm as far away from ok that I have ever been in my entire life.
The pain of losing you, is almost unbearable at times.
The night is the worst, just endless minutes of loss, pain and painful memories.
I hope that one day the memories will bring me some happiness again, some peace, but right now, I'm anything but peaceful.

As we come to the end of one of the worst years of my life and I try to navigate forward into a life without one of the biggest parts of my heart, there are many questions that keep me awake at night.

Are you together with Buddy, did he come to show you the way?

Do you miss me the way I miss you, if you do surely you can't be at peace, I'm definitely not.
Is it different where you are, do the hours fly past and I'll be there before you know it?

Could you hear me, feel me holding you, tell you everything would be ok, to find each other, I tried to be brave and wait till you were at peace before I wailed, I didn't want to scare you, I hope you weren't scared and passed knowing how much you were loved

Do you forgive me? 💔

26/12/2024

First without you, it doesn't get easier.🐾💔

25/11/2024

Through tear-filled eyes, I saw you go,
To where the golden rivers flow.
A bridge of light, a path so clear,
Where pain and age no longer sear.

Though my heart broke, I let you fly,
To chase the stars across the sky.
For in that realm, you found your peace,
Where all your pains and worries ceased.

So run, dear friend, run free and wild,
In lands where dreams and love compile.
Though you departed, our bond remains,
In whispered echoes, soft refrains.

Goodbye, sweet soul, my cherished guide,
Across the rainbow bridge, you glide.
Until we meet again one day,
In fields of gold, we'll find our way.

20/11/2024

I fought hard to bring you justice Chief.
Sufficient evidence for conviction of failing to keep dogs under control, contrary to Section 3, Dangerous Dogs act 1991
The only reason he does not face prosecution is due to the fact he got put away for 40 months on separate charges. (drugs).

07/08/2024

In quiet corners of my heart, an echo softly calls,
The pitter-patter of your paws still dance within these walls.
Though time has passed, and you've been gone, the memories remain,
An invisible leash that binds my soul, tethered to the pain.
Your eyes, so bright with boundless love, your fur so soft and warm,
The way you'd curl up by my side and shelter from the storm.
I still can feel your gentle nudge, your breath upon my cheek,
An invisible leash that pulls me back, to days where we would seek.
Together, endless fields of green, adventures, wild and free,
You were my shadow, loyal friend, and always there with me.
Now, in the quiet of the night, I search the stars above,
An invisible leash that holds my heart, tied tight with threads of love.
The world moves on, and yet I pause, for in my heart you stay,
A faithful bond that never breaks, though time may drift away.
I walk alone, but in my mind, you're trotting by my side,
An invisible leash that keeps you near, no matter where I stride.
For love transcends the bounds of time, it knows no final end,
An invisible leash that wraps around, a bond that will not bend.
So, though you're gone, you're always here, a whisper in the breeze,
An invisible leash of memories, that never fails to please.