07/05/2024
This is Dakota's Mommy. I've been needing to update this. Dakota passed away on April 12, 2024 around 11am. A piece of me - a huge piece - went with her. I've been disabled for some years and our lives weren't as exciting as they once used to be. These last year's have been hard for me, and hard for my babies, too.
I had all these plans for getting the stickers on my car again, finishing healing from hip replacement, and get them for car rides again, the beach again, walks again.
But it's too late for Dakota. What made it even worse was that I couldn't bend forward more than 90° because of the hip replacement. It was very fresh. Like a couple weeks. I would have laid on the ground and held her, throw ups or not. I would have stayed there every moment.
These last 6 weeks have been the hardest of my entire life. And I've been through my share before. Losing this girl - the PAIN reminded me of when I lost my grandmother. (I do not mean to compare my grandmother to the dog at all. I just mean the pain of it.) It felt like somebody ripped my chest open, pulled out my heart and lungs - but I was somehow still struggling to breathe.
I notice her absense everywhere. I didn't get to keep her ashes, which is also screwing w my head. I ordered 2 beautiful prints of her, with some other little decorative Husky items to make her a little memorial at home. I still talk to her every day. And I don't think this will be easier even in a decade.
I was so lucky. So blessed w these two girls within a year of one another. Her sister Sasha Hopkins has a page still, as well as Nanuk Hopkins (which isn't pulling up RN). I will probably share more with this page now that she's gone honestly. It will help me in remembrance of her. Going to try to update the other girls pages too more now. I wish I would have as we were going.
Sasha is a year older and she's the one I was trying to prepare myself for. Now my life is about making the rest of her life, and Nanuk's, as good as I possibly can w my decrepit butt. Please pray for us. We all miss her. My mom and step dad struggled so bad too. It was sudden and there was pain. I wish I could go back in time and erase the last 2 months but I can't.
I love you Dakota Hopkins. I think of you all the time. I cry for you all the time. I hope wherever you are, that you know how much Mommy loves you, how sorry I am, and that you will come see us every now and again.
God this can't be real.
