Melissa Shapiro, DVM

23/06/2025

I never could have predicted or imagined how much I would miss this dog.

It's been 9 weeks since I said goodbye to my Beautiful Gina. The empty spaces in the house, on the bathmat in the morning, on her bed in our bedroom, in the kitchen when we are sharing cookies, in my car, when we go out in the backyard, when we come up the stairs, when we take our walks, at the front door when I get home, when I lay down on the floor to stretch my legs, and on the couch behind me when I'm working on my computer- all reminders of her absence.

Making matters worse, and this has never been an issue in my many decades of being a veterinarian, when I euthanize an old dog or cat, it reopens the wound, nice and fresh and raw.

I'm perfectly functional but I am sad at certain points of every day. There was nothing more to do for Gina. She was very sick with no hope of feeling better. But the reality of making a decision to euthanize my dog reality hit me hard this time.

I had been preparing for the day for a while. It wasn't a surprise. But the anxiety and buildup leading to the final day really was overwhelming. I don't share these feelings with many bc I feel like I'm just supposed to be used to it. But that is not the case at all.

I'm not used to it with my patients and I'm not used to it with my own dogs. And as I've gotten older, seeing my clients in such devastating pain is hitting me in a much more upsetting way.

I'm happy I care and feel compassion for people in the worst pet parent situation there is. I couldn't be a vet without caring. But with the loss of my own dog only 2 months ago, I really am feeling the emotional drain many other vets describe. I really never felt it but now I understand.

I'll keep on doing what I'm doing. I am able to stay calm and help people through their own loss. But I do have to figure out how to manage my own situation here with losing Gina and currently watching my dog Dean's progressive decline. I don't know how I'm going to manage the next few dogs hitting their final phase in the next year or so. I guess we all get through it but it is not easy with so many at once.

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10/06/2025

Let's be clear, these are not "just" dogs and birds. When we lose them for whatever reason, we don't "just" get over it. In fact, we feel our loss deeply and even kind words don't relieve the pain so quickly. But that phrase, "he's just a dog" is like throwing salt in a wound.

I'm fortunate that my circles of family and friends are mostly on the same page as me when it comes to my dogs and birds, ferret, and fish too. Generally, I don't have to worry about being triggered and insulted by such insensitive callous responses. My people understand and share the emotions and natural love I feel for my dogs, birds, and other animals I care for personally and in my veterinary job.

Only once did I have a close relative burden me with the comment, "he's only a bird"- literal quote- when my tiny house sparrow Bobby was terminally ill. The comment was so hurtful and I was so disappointed, it has stuck with me for decades. It's not that I cared what that person thought about my relationship with my little bird. I did feel bad that they were missing out on the feelings I was lucky to have towards my precious little bird. The comment really took me by surprise.

So I do know what it feels like to have my deep upset mocked. I feel sad for those who have a disconnect to animals that they would even think to say "it's just a dog". They have missed out on such an important part of life. Loving a pet shapes children's compassion and makes our lives whole.

If you choose not to bring animal love into your life, please don't denigrate others who are going through pet loss with hurtful insensitive comments. Instead, offer support and understanding. It feel much better to be kind.🩷🐾🩷🐾🩷🐾🩷🐾🩷🐾🩷🐾🩷🐾🩷

07/06/2025

Today marks 6 weeks since I said goodbye to my beautiful Gina. This has been the hardest dog loss I've ever had. It doesn't even compare to when I lost my vet school, heart dog, April, 31 years ago. I've never felt this empty, emotionally drained, or sad. I usually find the way out of the pain after a little while.

My job as a vet is in home euthanasia for dogs and cats. In the past, I was able to separate the emotions of my own loss from my work. I still do, but inside I am thinking about every word I say to the families I am helping with their own dogs. I want my words to be meaningful for their individual situations with their dogs and cats. Having just been through a major loss myself, I know what words were not helpful even though they were well intended.

Mostly, and the point of this post, is that I never felt the dread of having to experience the loss of my other dogs like I do right now. When people say that they aren't getting a new dog bc they can't go through another loss, I never understood like I do now. It is excruciating.

I will always have a couple of dogs, but having 4 dogs over 10 right now is weighing heavy on my every day interactions with my 7 dogs. And I'm reminded of it every time I go do my job. It's especially intense right now bc our Deanie is looking so so old and having progressive mobility issues.

Just some thoughts. The sadness always lifts but going thought it is not easy.

24/05/2025

20/05/2025

Here are some dogs in my life from when I was in vet school and on to today.

Over a month ago we said goodbye to our big white fluffy dog Gina. Making the decision about euthanasia was not so difficult bc she was so so sick and felt so awful. But finding the exact right time was more challenging.

For me, as a veterinarian, I always have done the euthanasia procedure for my own dogs. I never questioned who would do the final kindness to my own beloved dogs. Of course I would be the one.

Recently I've been rethinking this approach. This last one with Gina was almost too much for me. I felt so upset that it was hard to fill both roles of vet and mom to my beautiful sweet Jeannie in that final moment.

Each dog and circumstance is different. I never felt the need or desire to share the end and have no regrets about the way it all went this time. But I'm definitely considering a change in protocol for the next one(s).

In the meantime, while tough not to let our minds fast forward to the inevitable, it's so important to try hard to enjoy each dog or other pet without allowing worries and anxiety to cloud over the time we do have.🩷

10/05/2025

Happy Dog Mom's Day to everyone who is lucky enough to have one or many dogs in their life.🩷

03/05/2025

Is it easier to lose a beloved dog when there are 7 other dogs left in the family, compared to when losing an only dog and being left with an empty house?

Off the cuff, one would think the "obvious" answer is yes. After all, when there are so many dogs they might actually dilute out the grief. And maybe with so many, the total dog love is divided up so the pain of the loss might be lessened.?.?

I can tell you first hand that this is not the case. My current pain is related to the loss of one of my dogs who I absolutely adored, loved deeply, and had a very close relationship with. She was special to me for a number of reasons that I haven't shared with many.

On top of my own grief, witnessing the remaining dogs go through the loss of one of their dog family adds a layer of sorrow that isn't acknowledged in discussions of pet loss. I'm not talking about the dogs experiencing loss. I mean the people having to watch their other dogs' confusion and distress, as they also adjust to missing their friend.

To the point- I think that grief is fluid. Each situation is different. For me, I have shocked myself at how much easier and harder losing certain of my dogs and birds have been compared to what I would have predicted.

Personally, I find the initial reaction and recovery depend a lot on the illness and prep I've had as we head towards the actual loss, as well as where we are in our own life at any particular time.

I'm wondering how others feel about this important sub-topic of pet loss.

24/04/2025

We are away on our trip to the south and we are having a very nice time meeting our Piglet friends. Tomorrow we are visiting a school.

But when we aren't doing "Piglet" we are still feeling so so sad.

I wanted to write a little bit about my beautiful dog Gina. And there will be more to come. But I don't talk much about her and the other dog's rescue stories. They aren't full of gore like some stories you see on social media. But they are full of cruelty and then kindness.

Gina was born deaf in one ear which caused extreme anxiety. She was a double merle Aussie border collie mix. At 10 weeks old she was dumped in someone's driveway. She was feral and difficult to catch and handle. She was brought to safety by Colbert Veterinary Rescue Services in Georgia. No one would foster her bc she was so difficult to manage. She screamed ALOT and couldn't settle.

We met her at an adoption event when she was 4 1/2 months and 15 pounds. As we were leaving I saw out of the corner of my eye sleeping in a crate all alone while all the other dogs were barking and carrying on.

I am partial to white herding dogs bc my vet school dog April was a white herding dog and I knew I would have another at some point.

When I picked Gina up she put her head on my shoulder and I was in love.

I spent a huge about of time working with her in the beginning bc she would lunge at cars, bicycles, joggers, and people who had a high pitched laugh. Yup. She was very difficult but so soft and sweet.

It took almost a year but she transformed into the most devoted, beautiful, friendly, but still anxious good girl. She and Susie were friends and then we added Dean.

Deanie's lost without Gina right now. He is very sensitive. Annie is also feeling sad. These three spent a lot of time together over the years.

There's alot that happened in the 14 years she was my dog. If there's interest I will share some Gina stories that happened way before Piglet came along.

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13/04/2025

Special Senior Sunday:
This was me a few years ago. Six dogs was plenty. We had lost our little Susie and these 5 on leashes were perfectly matched. Eveyone could walk for miles with a few sniff spots along the way. We all got some seriously good exercise and little Piglet in the stroller loved his fresh air nap. He came out of the stroller at key spots to sniff and p*e. I spent hours a day walking with my dogs for miles at a time.

I really want to be happy that this chapter of dog walking lasted as long as it did. I was in pure denial about my older dog's aging until about 2 years ago when it became necessary to split the dogs into younger and older groups. We also added two young dogs, Lucy and Georgie, who made walking ALL together much more difficult.

I still spend hours a day walking with my dogs but the distance traveled is a fraction of what it used to be. I'm sorry to say that as much as I love my old dogs and want them to enjoy every minute of being outside doing what they love, I'm literally crying as we walk so slowly now, it's almost like standing still. They love it and still share the same enthusiasm for heading out the door into the car to go to the beach or just going out in our own neighborhood.

I've watched other dogs transition from young and vibrant to sweet old age. I love caring for senior dogs in my vet practice. But now it's my own dogs that are declining in front of my eyes, and I'm finding an overwhelming sadness clouding all of my interactions with them.

I'm trying to step back, remember their beautiful lives, their precious places in our family and my every day life for so many years. They deserve that dignity and respect. They are still happy despite great health challenges, which on another level makes me happy. We'll continue to keep up with our routine even if it looks much different than happier times. I feel lucky that both Gina and Deanie have gotten well into their 14th year with grace and that little Evie and Annie are still feeling good at over 13 each.

06/04/2025

This is going to be a much different format than our previous zoom webinars and parties. It will be very interactive and hopefully a lot of fun. I hope to see lots of our dog loving Piglet friends later! It's at 7:30 PM eastern time. Sign up is on our website events page!

31/12/2024

Vet dog mom thoughts for this holiday week.
I have 5 dogs over the age of 10. And I'm a house call vet with a focus on end of life care for dogs and cats.

It's never easy to make end of life decisions for our pets, but it seems that it's even more difficult around the holidays.

This week is a typical holiday week. Families are together and older dogs and cats are not waiting for the kids to go back to college. Some are thankful that they're all together for the end and others were hoping for one last happy holiday with their older pet.

As an objective professional I feel a lot of compassion for people who really struggle with the decision to let their older pets go peacefully. On one hand they want to do what's best for their pets but on the other, they're looking for a specific diagnosis or sign to get them to the mindset needed to let go. And they don't always get to have it the way they imagined, which makes it even more difficult.

When animals are in distress, the decision becomes very clear. But some of these older dogs and cats decline so slowly and maintain many aspects of good quality life for such a long time that their people get lulled into feeling like they'll go on forever.

It's important to focus on the situation at hand, making decisions based on your pet's condition, quality of like, and prognosis. Letting the rest go- how could this have happened so fast when it's actually been progressing gradually for a very long time, or I just want him to make it to his 18th birthday which is in 2 weeks...

Becoming present with your pet at the time it's going to happen, letting everything else go, is the first step in grieving and accepting the loss, before moving on to recovery.

Losing a pet, and having to decide to euthanize, is crushing. We don't get better at it with practice, but we can help ourselves by remaining calm and deliberate as we spend the last moments saying goodbye.

I hope this helps some.🩷🐶🩷🐈🩷

23/10/2024

When I decided I would be a veterinarian, at 6 years of age, I had no idea there was something called euthanasia or that it would end up being a major part of my veterinary career.
Today, I said goodbye to Jem, one of my sweetest patients who I've taken care of for his whole life of 14 1/2 years.
I vividly remember our first visit bc I thought his parents were crazy for adopting him. And then he had a reaction to the bordatella vaccine I gave him. So his new puppy visit turned into an involved minor medical crisis! He chewed everything in sight but quickly settled down to become one of those perfect labs.
In the last few years his old age and arthritis gradually took away his mobility. He got the best of care- meds, supplements, slings, ramps, and lots of love. He swam in the river, took a winter trip to Florida where he swam in the ocean, was an amazing big brother to Radley, and he enjoyed every last minute of his life, to his very last breath.
He gave all that he could. Today was his day. It was a beautiful sunny warm October day. He left the way he lived, with dignity and love.
He was on his favorite bed, with his mom right there with him as he closed his beautiful brown eyes.
I stay very calm when I'm helping dogs and their people through their end of life care and euthanasia. This one, it was tough to hold back the tears. I really wasn't looking forward to saying good bye to this dog.
I feel very lucky to be able to help my patients, both the long timers and the ones I've just met. While it seems like the absolute worst part of vet medicine, for me, it's bringing peace to a difficult situation for pets and their people. RIP sweet boy Jem.🩷