Joel Meyers Horsemanship

11/04/2025

DOING NOTHING IS AN ACTION

Yesterday I published a post on something I termed "Inappropriate Touching" that went a little viral, being shared 3,000 times in 24 hours (you can read that post here https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=1274647950690356&set=a.269604291194732).

It was about missing what the horse was offering, and instead trying to touch a part of the horse that they weren't offering. The picture I used was taken at the Horse World Expo in Pennsylvania recently.

Today I want to share a picture of a different demo horse from that expo.

This is a 10 year old Warmblood mare who was a broodmare, and has recently been started under saddle. The owner says she drags everyone around, has severe attention issues, and always has her head up looking around.

That's at home on familiar turf, so you can imagine what she was like at the horse expo. When the mare and her handler came in, the mare couldn't stand still, and her head was straight up in the air looking around. As I usually do at horse expos, if I have an hour session, I usually let the handler lead the horse around (or try and stand still) for the first half an hour, so the audience can really see that the horse is not settled , and isn't going to.

Then I take over.

With this mare, when I took a hold of the lead rope, she immediately greeted me with her nose, which I reciprocated with my hand (Action #1). She then walked off away from me and as she tightened the lead rope, I used my flag to draw her thoughts back to where her body was, so getting her to be present (Action #2). These 2 actions are part of a flow chart I have on my website, which is basically a flow chart for appropriate responses to things your horse does.

These 2 things happened twice more in the first 5 minutes of me handling her, so I did a total of 4 quite subtle things.

And then I waited.

The photo of the mare shows the result after about 20 minutes or so.

The next day I posted the photo on Facebook and said a little about it, and someone asked if I'd videod the session. I replied that I hadn't, and didn't really need to, as I didn't do anything I hadn't captured many times on video and put in my video library on my website.

They said they were in the audience, and that they didn't really see me do much, so must have missed something. I had to point out I only did 4 things (which was actually 2 little things, twice each).

It's more about what I didn't do, that the handler had been doing.

I didn't hold the lead rope short or try to control her (the handler had been doing quite a bit of this).

When she stood there and pawed the ground (which she did quite a bit) I didn't do anything (the handler had been trying to correct that).

When she stood with her head high looking around, I didn't do anything (the handler had been trying to get her attention). Actually I looked at what she was looking at, so I suppose there I did do something.

When she chewed on the lead rope, I didn't do anything (The handler had tried to get it out of her mouth).

When she sidepassed up really close to me, I didn't do anything (the handler had stepped away from her when she did this).

And in relation to yesterdays viral post, I didn't touch her, I didn't pet her, I didn't rub her, and I didn't console her (the handler had been doing quite a bit of this), except for the 2 brief times she touched me with he nose.

In the half an hour I was handling her, those 4 little things I did happened in the first 5 minutes.

The rest of the time I did nothing.

After a while she started having the big yawning releases one often sees with the Masterson Method work. She yawned. And yawned. And yawned.

Then her head started to drop into the posture you see in the picture.

And I said to the audience "Doing nothing IS an action", and it's a very powerful one at that. Then I sat down and crossed my legs, for no other reason than to prove to the audience that I wasn't doing anything to her to get her to stand there.

Many people struggle to be in the presence of their horse without doing something. If there's a problem, they want to fix it. if there's not one, they want to fiddle and groom and touch (remember yesterdays post). Many times these well meaning owners (and the handler of this horse was lovely and well meaning) are doing a lot of work to try to resolve their horses anxiety issues, and many times the incessant fiddling and grooming and touching is part of the problem.

Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is be a human being, instead of a human doing.

If you are interested in my work, everything I do is available on video and in courses at videos.warwickschiller.com

11/04/2025

11/04/2025

09/04/2025

INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING

I'm reading an amazing book called Amphibious Soul by Craig Foster, the Academy award winning documentary film maker of "My Octopus Teacher".

If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it, it is simply profound.

In the book he says "As a rule, I never touch an animal unless they touch me first".

In my work building relationship with horses, I do this too. Most times a horse will touch you with their nose/muzzle first, and matching that greeting (versus labelling the horse as a biter) is a game changer.

But there's a phenomenon I have noticed going on with people trying to build relationship with their horses that I have labelled "inappropriate touching", and it looks a bit like the photo below.

This picture was taken at a horse expo in Pennsylvania recently, where I worked with a demo horse who has a "biting issue". He would reaching out in a way that his owner was termed as nipping, whereas I interpreted as him saying hello, similar to reaching out to shake hands with someone.

When he reached out I would greet him with a flat hand that he is able to to nuzzle, lick or even scrape his teeth on. After doing this a while his snappy acting motions got less so, and he was no longer needing to say "hey, pay attention" , but was more "hey, how's it going". I was explaining to the audience that I was meeting him in the way that he was meeting me (with his muzzle) and that it's not an invitation to touch other parts (yet).

I then said that it's many people's default to reach up and rub a horse between the eyes, whether that's what they are offering or not, and that if you do, it's inappropriate touching and it gets in the way of connection. It doesn't meet their needs, and is all about yours.

With the horse in the picture, he'd been engaging me with his muzzle, and I said to the audience "watch what happens when I try to rub him between the eyes". As you can see in the photo, he has raised his head up and is clearly indicating "No, not there, on my muzzle".

We had a Connection And Attunement retreat here at the Journey On Ranch a week ago, and I used my wife Robyn to illustrate this point to the participants. I said "imagine I'm at a gathering and meeting Robyn for the first time". We walked up to each other in that way people do when they see someone new and they can tell an introduction is shaping up, Robyn reached out with her hand to say hello and instead of me reaching out to shake her hand, I gently reached up and lightly brushed a wisp of hair from her cheekbone and tucked it behind her ear.

The participants all gasped and the ick factor was high.

Even though it was caring, and gentle, it was inappropriate at that moment.

Now Im not saying you can't rub your horse on the forehead. I'm saying if your horse has a disregulated nervous system around humans because they don't feel seen (and safe), try to meet their needs first, before trying get get yours met.

I recently saw an instagram post from a University in the UK, and the professor was explaining that they were doing studies on horses to determine levels of stress. In the background a horse was standing with his head out over a Dutch door. While he was explaining their investigations on stress, a female student (or maybe another professor, I don't know which) walked up to the horse. The horse reached out with his muzzle to greet her.

She ignored this and reached up to rub the horse between the eyes.

He turned his head 90 degrees to the left to communicate that wasn't what he was offering.

Her hand followed him and kept rubbing.

he then turned his head 180 degrees to the right, saying "No, not like that".

Smiled, gave him another pet between the eyes, and walked of camera.

While the professor was saying that they are doing experiments determining the amounts of stress horses are under, someone in the background was actually creating stress, without either of them even knowing it.

Once you understand how sentient horses are, and how subtle their communication, you can't unsee it.

07/04/2025

Monty knows to go to the mounting block when we come back from our trail ride. He will seek it out on his own.

01/04/2025

The Unspoken Bond

Horses speak to us—not with words, but with movement, expression, and trust. When we take the time to listen, to truly understand their silent language, something incredible happens. A partnership is formed, built not on dominance, but on mutual respect and connection.

That moment when a horse chooses to be with you, to trust you, to move with you—that’s the heart of horsemanship. It’s more than riding; it’s a relationship, a lifelong conversation that deepens with every step.
" Monty Roberts "

28/03/2025

As a trainer one of the best feelings is seeing the progress of a horse you have been working with. I have been working with Monty on building his confidence on the trail for almost a year. Today we went for a ride and he was out in the lead confident and taking it all in.

27/03/2025

“Feel your horse.
How does he make that bend? Is he rigid? Is he tight? Is he mellow? Is he lazy?
There’s a lot of things going on in there if you’ll listen to him.
We don’t notice near enough of the good things he does and while he’s doing those good things, we just take them for granted.
We do way too much physically.” - Ray Hunt.

Image of Ray is by Gail Ivey and was taken at a clinic held in Merced, CA, 1989.

23/03/2025

The Listening Brain
by Dr. Stephen Peters

We live in a world where sound never stops.
Yet the art of listening remains profoundly rare.
The horse—a creature of prey—
listens not just with its ears,
but with its nervous system.
It listens for safety, for subtlety, for sincerity.
And what about us?
The human brain—
complex, pattern-seeking, ever-adaptive—
filters signal from noise with astonishing precision.
Attention, guided by acetylcholine, sharpens our focus.
Emotion, balanced by serotonin, steadies our lens.
Motivation, driven by dopamine, fuels our curiosity.
These are not abstractions.
They are the neurochemical symphony behind every moment of understanding.
And in the quiet space between words—
that is where true connection begins.
Not with dominance. Not with force.
But with presence. With patience. With trust.
In the end, the brain learns best—
not under threat,
but through clarity.
And yet—
under the right conditions,
with safety, trust, and repetition,
both horses and humans
can learn to find coherence,
even in the midst of chaos.