Shadow the Hellhound

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Shadow the Hellhound On paper, I'm a husky/shepherd mix, in reality I'm a baby hellhound living with two (probably) unsuspecting push-overs. Life is good.

Friends, I’ve been gone a long time. This pup is older and wiser and happier than ever. Sister and I dash around our ter...
13/05/2019

Friends, I’ve been gone a long time. This pup is older and wiser and happier than ever. Sister and I dash around our territory like we own it. Mama says we’re neighbourhood menaces, but we’re just having a good time. We like to bark hello to all our neighbours, and one of them was kind enough to build a snack cabinet right beside our fence (Mama calls it a “rabbit hutch”).

There are many rooms in the house Daddy says we own (this pup wonders if that means Daddy p*ed on it; Mama says it means the bank is our landlord). The Hellhound inspects every one of them, especially the basement.

There is a pit behind the clothes-rumbling machine that I’m pretty sure is a hell-mouth. The smell of sulphur is strong. Daddy put up a gate to keep me out of the basement while he and Mama are at work, but this pup is smart, and this pup is strong. Mama is making Daddy put in a door after I broke the gate for the third time.

Till next time, friends. Hellhound over and out!

This Hellhound is a tired boy. Family came over this weekend and I made a new best friend. I don't have much experience ...
09/07/2017

This Hellhound is a tired boy. Family came over this weekend and I made a new best friend. I don't have much experience with miniature humans, but this one was a lot of fun. He threw the ball for me a hundred and three times. And we played chase in the yard. And he fed me loads of extra treats. And he was impressed with how fast I can devour a pig ear. Usually Mama calls it "revolting."

He didn't even mind when I drooled on him, and he thought it was funny when I stole his underwear! The last time I stole Daddy's underwear and showed it to the grass-cutting boy, I got in so much trouble.

Sister got too excited around my new friend. She p*ed a lot and jumped up too much. Little friend said he liked me best. This is the way it should be.

Mama and Daddy and Daddy's brother stayed up really late and had a big fire. I could hear potential intruders and, like the good guard dog I am, I alerted Daddy every time and made him patrol the perimeter of our domain.

Daddy wasn't too steady on the last few patrols, so I decided to keep my wolf eyes open and look out for danger myself. Sister passed out under Mama's chair. Sister still sleeps a lot. I think all the jumping tires her out.

It got scary really late at night, when the bats went back to bed in the treetops and the moon was shining bright. A dog was screaming somewhere far away in the dark. Then the Ferals started yipping and the screams were covered by their howls. Mama took me and Sister inside to bed.

Mama says some people don't love their dogs and treat them like family. Some people leave them chained up outside and bad things can happen to them. Bad things like what happened to the screaming pup last night.

This Hellhound is happy to have a home and a Mama and Daddy to wait on him. This is how it should be. This pup might like tiny human to come back more often, though. Tiny humans are the most fun.

This Hellhound has been a busy boy in the past feed months. Mama and Daddy finally brought home this thing called "siste...
13/06/2017

This Hellhound has been a busy boy in the past feed months. Mama and Daddy finally brought home this thing called "sister" and I love her, even though she smells like p*e and she likes to eat my butt fur. Mama says she was a "rescue pup" like I was. She didn't have a home or a family, so I have to share mine. I think I'm okay with things so far. Sister likes to play chase and when we play-fight, her whole face fits in my wolf jaws! It used to be easier to steal her toys, run away, and destroy them. Sister is faster now, and her teeth are tiny but sharp. Mama and Daddy call her "Luna," but I like to pretend she's a teddy bear sponge. She's great at soaking up my drool.

Friends! It has been a long time since I've taken to the internet and voiced my important Hellhound tales. Mama has been...
12/02/2017

Friends! It has been a long time since I've taken to the internet and voiced my important Hellhound tales. Mama has been "busy" at her new job. I get to go with her a couple days per week, and it looks like just a lot of sitting around and eating snacks to me...

Mama and Daddy say I'm going to have a sister soon. Mama has been looking for another pup like me, who needs a home and a family. I hope this sister doesn't take my blanket or my bone. I might have to show Mama how anxious I am by leaving her a "present" on her pillow...

I think if sister has her own toys, and her own blanket, we will get along just fine. Mama will have to sleep on my towel on the floor, of course. The bed is not big enough for two Hellhounds and two humans. And I can't sleep without my Daddy.

24/01/2017

So Shadow had quite the day yesterday. Ryan took him out back to play fetch. The weather was warm, the sun was shining, and the cornfields were melting into a slurry of mud, mouldy corn stalks, and pig s**t. An irresistible combination for a certain pup...

At first, gazing through the dining room window and sipping my tea, I had a few qualms about Ryan letting him run on the muddy grass. Then...the look of horror on Ryan's face as Shadow gunned it across the mucky field, spraying gouts of mud and manure behind him in his joyful, filthy dance of freedom. Ryan calling him back repeatedly, only to put up the "oh f**k no!" hands as Shadow galloped towards him, ready to pounce. Then away, circling round and around until.

"Get. Here. NOW!" Even I could hear that through the double-paned glass and across the yard. I saw my husband at the end of his tether, I saw Shadow delighting in bring free from his, and then the pup smiled, and ever so slowly, laid down in the soppy mud. It squelched up nearly neck high on him.

Ryan threw his hands in the air and walked back to the house, followed by what appeared to be a panting, four-legged swamp monster.

The smell was eye-watering, the smeary brown paw prints through the house cringe-worthy, and the sounds I heard coming from the bathroom made me hesitate to ask if Ryan needed help bathing the dog.

Thank goodness for my swiffer wet-jet. And for the insanely cute smile Shadow gives us as he settles his newly cleaned, sopping wet self onto the couch.

Snore...
08/01/2017

Snore...

Hello friends! It's been a while...this pup has been too shocked and discombobulated to even think let alone dictate for...
06/12/2016

Hello friends! It's been a while...this pup has been too shocked and discombobulated to even think let alone dictate for Mama to type.

We are in the promised "new house in the country", and I do not think I like it. There are so many weird sounds and smells. I bark and I howl a lot to let Mama know of unseen, unknown lurking threats. Mama says I should cut it out because I'm going to give her a stroke. Mama stinks of fear when she has to go into the basement...

It is cold here. And wet. Daddy takes me outside at night because there's lots of wild things I shouldn't meet alone. And Mama is already in her sleeping suit. Again, points to Mama for that hidden clever streak.

I've been having troubles eating and yesterday I starved myself so badly I threw up on Daddy and Mama's bed while they were out. Mama sniffed it and wanted to know if I'd been chewing on batteries recently.

No, Mama. This is the stench of my sadness.

We went for a walk around the edge of our territory today, Mama and me. I nearly pulled her over when we got close to the road and I discovered something called a "pig truck." The mechanical monsters have followed us, and Mama doesn't care!

I do like the open fields though. One of these days I'll catch Mama unawares and leave her facedown in the mud while I run, and run...

My daddy is home!
30/11/2016

My daddy is home!

My first Christmas stocking! I loves it...
29/11/2016

My first Christmas stocking! I loves it...

Hellhounds don't like mornings...
23/11/2016

Hellhounds don't like mornings...

If this pup had such a crude thing as a little shed out back called a "doghouse", Mama would put me in it. We just had w...
23/11/2016

If this pup had such a crude thing as a little shed out back called a "doghouse", Mama would put me in it. We just had what she calls "an episode."
I went outside to do my last bit of business for the evening. But I wasn't tired yet, not a bit, so I decided to run and sniff and play hide and seek while Mama screamed at me from the doorway to get inside. I knew Mama was in her flimsy sleeping costume and wouldn't brave the cold air to get me, so I lurked in the, ahem, shadows like the wolfling I am. I waited until Mama got impatient enough to go back inside and get her coat and shoes, then I met her at the door, smiling and wagging my tail.
It was my luck that just then Grandpa came out to see what all the noise was about. I barrelled past him into the upstairs house, ran into Grandpa and Grandma's bedroom to say hi to my stumpy pal Angus (he grumbled at me from the bed. Scotties sure go to sleep early) and then dashed into the living room while Mama ran after me yelling "naughty boy! Very BAD!" I got a good gallop around the upstairs and slobbered on several of Angus's toys before she caught me.
Mama gave me some "special treats" and now I'm feeling a bit woozy. How dare Mama try to sedate the fire of the Hellhound! ....yawn...

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