07/25/2025
The marriage you’ve been in counseling for; the boss who’s discussed your performance issues repeatedly; the friendship on the rocks due to your dishonesty; the child you’ve promised to be more available and more present for…
If you’ve repeatedly engaged in behavior that has communicated a different version of who you are to the people in these (or countless other examples), only a fool would assume that a bit of initial effort and some good sounding promises would convince those you’ve spent far longer conveying a very different version of yourself… would be convinced that there’s a new, trustworthy, desired you that has replaced the old.
While they might might be optimistic and rooting for you, if they’re experienced at all with humans and the world in general, they’re going to ensure that optimism is heavily guarded and will refrain from both celebrating and buying into your promises until substantial and ongoing proof has been provided.
And like it or not, or believe it or not, while you’re dog isn’t going to sit you down for “the talk”, they are going to 1/ behave in a fashion that directly reflects the dysfunction you’ve shared, and 2/ will absolutely not buy into your new and improved determination to lead and apply your fancy new training skills without being throughly, and consistently, and for an extended period of time convinced that this new you is indeed someone worthy of following.
This is truly the hardest piece, and biggest obstacle to the dog training success puzzle. You’ve spent years telling your dog precisely who you are — a soft, permissive, uncertain, hesitant, waffling, needy, emotionally chaotic spoiling machine who has been horribly ill-equipped to lead — and now you’re shouting from the rooftops, “But I’ve changed!!!”
And your dog responds, not unlike their human counterparts, but in their unique canine fashion with, “Cool. Prove it!”
And that my friends is the real dog training work. ❤️