
07/30/2025
Just about any behavior modification dog trainer will agree with this post. We get in some GNARLY dogs who can and will bite strangers, kids, even their own handlers. Dogs who shake and pant and run from any new situation. Dogs who have 0 coping skills or knowledge about how to relax and do nothing. So, so often we discover really quickly that these dogs have never learned how to overcome obstacles or dig in and do things they don’t want to do. They’ve never learned how to face a problem and find a solution because the moment their family sees them struggling, they swoop in and solve their problems for them. While this can seem kind in the moment, it can REALLY set dogs up for failure in the long run! So many struggle to deal with ANYTHING stressful because they’ve never had to. Because of this, their “coping mechanisms” are often anxiety, aggression, reactivity, and fear to get out of doing anything they don’t want.
So what’s the solution? Get your dogs comfy doing what you need them to do from the beginning! Bring them places they’re not huge fans of, put them in tricky situations (that are safe and you know they can handle), and don’t jump in and fix their problems. Help them, support them, encourage them, but let them do it themselves. The most stable, confident dogs I’ve met have been dogs whose parents took this philosophy, and the best part is they often have the best relationships I’ve seen as well! A true partnership where the dog looks to the handler for input, but doesn’t rely on them for every step. It’s a beautiful sight to see 😁
I am ALL FOR teaching children and adults both that dogs can and do and should have their own boundaries and a say in what they are. I am.
BUT…
We also need to start raising and teaching dogs to have TOLERANCE. My dogs are allowed to say “I don’t care for that” but I, as their owner, am allowed to say “sorry pal, you gotta power through this one” and guess what? My dogs have never once put their mouth on me for doing so.
Starting as a puppy, I teach my dogs to get tossed around, smacked (playfully) around, paws grabbed, tails tugged, and ears fondled endlessly. I also teach them that when I say it’s time to hold still and get a vax or a nail trim or a brushing, you better hold still and get it over with so we can move on to better things in life.
Even a grown adopted dog can learn this. Sure there may be a delicacy or even an art to it with some dogs, but it can and MUST be done.
Instead, everyone seems so focused on keeping the dog “happy” and being “gentle” instead of teaching the dog to have some damn resilience and know that stress is part of life, and how to work through it and grow past it.
No living being goes through life with zero stress. The ones who maybe get lucky enough to do so as youngins do NOT make strong or enjoyable adults. In the wild, they flat ass don’t survive.
We have absolutely GOT to start raising and training more resilient, confident, strong dogs. Because you know which ones lash out and hurt others? The weak ones. Just like with humans.