07/06/2020
This speaks so powerful to me right now. We lost a sweet sweet goat tonight. His fight ended, he is no longer suffering on this earth. We are not sure what exactly was wrong but I did everything I could to save him and it just wasn’t enough. I gave wormers to him 12 hours apart, coccidia medicine, diarrhea medicine for a week, vitamin b complex all week, injectable iron for two days (can’t overdose), literally everything that I have because he was anemic and more than likely had a worm overload. I sent fecals off a week ago and they got destroyed during the shipping process. My luck is horrible. People don’t realize how hard it is to raise animals when you’ve done everything in your power you know to do and it’s still not enough to save their life. I called the vet and he just said the only thing they can do is a blood transfusion. That costs $600, doesn’t include the emergency farm call, other meds, etc. Plus they couldn’t even come out today, he said they wouldn’t be able to until tomorrow. He started going downhill yesterday and I knew in my gut that it didn’t look bright. I made him a goat down recipe and he loved it and drunk it all up as well as electrolytes. Tonight, he didn’t want any. It’s so sad when you see how much fight a living animal has and then it’s gone in a blink of an eye. You feel helpless and heartbroken. I’ve experienced so much death this year. Do I even deserve animals anymore? I’ve witnessed only two animals die in my lifetime and they have both been this year and it’s the most brutal and painful thing. It’s depressing and tragic. I’ve cried my eyes out wondering why does this have to happen to me. Why can’t I have better luck. Why does everyone else I see have such better luck than me. Watching them take their last breath and holding their head up so they don’t sprawl out everywhere. Knowing that it’s killing you inside to watch but knowing you have to be there because they have no one else to comfort them. They can’t communicate but I hope to god they can at least feel our presence and know they are not alone and they are loved. I don’t know why and how I can still raise animals after all the heartbreak I’ve dealt with the past 5 years I’ve raised them. I love them but it’s so upsetting when there’s nothing you can do anymore. Powerless.
We bottlefed him since he was a baby. He was our baby. Don’t you dare tell me they’re just livestock.
New comic this week~ 💀