05/26/2026
🎙 Becky’s Paw Spa: The Report 🐾
Episode One: “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart…”
17.5 years of the purest love and constant cuddles.
My heart.
My soul.
My Tookey.
My sweet, sweet Tookey.
3/24/25 — a day forever seared into my mind. A date I will never forget. A date that I know will forever make me so depressed that I’ll act like it’s my birthday, every year… for the sake of my boy, and for the sake of being kind to myself.
It was a Monday in March. I woke up and instantly knew something wasn’t right with my boy, Tookey. I made an emergency vet appointment for Tookey later that day.
Time came. My husband, myself, Tookey, and Greyson all headed to the appointment.
Deep down, I had a gut feeling I wasn’t coming home with my baby, and I wanted Greyson to say goodbye to his brother, if it was time.
My husband was trying to stay positive, saying maybe it’s just an upset stomach, but I knew something wasn’t right, and that whatever this is, we couldn’t fix this.
We arrived at the vet, after a short but what felt like year long car ride where I just clung to Tookey, cried, holding him as close as possible, wrapped up in his blanket. Whispering to him how much I love him, and how I’m not ready but I understand if he is.
The first words out of the doctor’s mouth were: “I don’t need to do any tests, honey. Tookey is in kidney failure, and I’m sorry… but it’s time.”
My heart shattered. My world stopped. The breath was ripped from my chest. It was over. Our time precious time together has come to an end. It felt like it happened so fast and before I knew it, it was over. March 24th.
I took Tookey potty one last time, one small last walk, before he was sedated to ease his discomfort. Then I spent the next 45min holding him, loving on him, talking to him, and telling him what a good, brave boy he was. How he was the best boy, mamas boy.
I promised him “mama’s going to be brave too and do what is right by you”
And at 3:45pm, I said goodbye to my best friend, earthside. Tookey left this world peacefully, with his dignity, in my arms. He was 17.5 years old. He was born in October 2007 - March 2025.
It’s been 17.5 years and somehow, now, I have to continue living life…. but without him. How am I suppose to do that? I’m lost + confused and I haven’t been the same since. I don’t think I ever will be.
That dog was my whole heart.
I was 16 years old and he was just 9 weeks old when our life together started. We grew up together.
Every first of mine, Tookey was there for.
Every move.
Every car.
Every job.
Every holiday.
Every good moment and every bad one.
He was there through all of it.
Every single life thing I experienced, he did too. He was my constant ❤️
After losing him, my days were filled with silence, tears and life’s usual routine: commute to work, work, commute home, dishes, dinner, laundry… wash, rinse, repeat.
I was stuck in a hell loop of grief where it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest daily.
I kept saying I was going through “cuddle withdrawal” because I didn’t have my cuddle buddy anymore. Turns out, it’s actually a real thing with real symptoms.
Symptoms I was experiencing every single day. Lack of appetite, trouble sleeping, nightmares, tight chest. My nervous system completely out of whack. I can’t function! How am I suppose to go on?
Getting another dog just isn’t something I’m ready for right now. It had been a thought, a discussion, an almost … but not our reality, not right now at least. I have Greyson, but he is a different kind of love. And if you’ve ever had a soul dog, then you know exactly what I’m talking about. We’re still besties, but it’s different.
I needed to find something to help me through my grief because I literally felt like a wilting flower, slowly dying without my soul dog, trying to cope.
One day, I was home doing my other dog Greyson’s nails by myself, dremeling away, when suddenly I put 2 + 2 together and realized:
“I can take this dremel and my broken heart and take pawdicures on the road.”
I can provide owner-assisted pet nail care. I can help dogs who can’t get to a facility for one reason or another. I can get cuddles and kisses from dogs of all breeds and sizes while helping them at the same time! I can find a bridge to my baby through other babies, soul dogs,” who are loved and cared for so deeply by their humans. I can hear their stories, their quirks, what their favorite things in life are.
It was like a light switch went off and suddenly my grief turned into purpose.
So at 10pm on 2/17/26, I mentioned the idea out loud to my husband, and the very next morning I made a Facebook post. Owner assisted Pawdicures.
And just like that, here we are.
Almost 100 dogs later, I’ve honestly lost count, and it’s only May. It’s been 427 days without Tookey and 96 days since I’ve started doing owner assisted pet nail care.
I discovered my outlet.
My coping mechanism.
Pawdicures.
Out of love.
Out of grief.
Out of one broken hearted girl with a dremel, learning to cope after losing her soul dog, Becky’s Paw Spa was born.
Becky’s Paw Spa is all about the experience. Your pups are getting more than a trim — they’re getting top-tier treatment as if they were my own.
They’re getting patience, praise, pets, treats, a full spa experience, and most importantly… a friend in me for life 🫶
Thank you to every single person who has trusted me with your baby. This is only the beginning.
But to this friend. My soul dog, Tookey. My cuddle bug, my kangaroo baby, my forever. I love you baby. There’s not a day I don’t miss you and wish you were here. Thank you for helping me find this earth-side bridge, until we meet again ❤️
Each trim is in your memory ✨🐾
Stay tuned to each episode on my journey + meet my furry friends ✌️📺
- Love,
A broken hearted girl with a dremel, finding purpose in grief ✨🐾
