09/28/2020
Today would’ve been week 7 of Jupiter’s therapy baths. Every week I looked forward to sitting next to the bathtub with him while he rested his head on my lap. He was one of the most gentle and loving dogs I know ❤️ Every week that went by as his skin and coat started to heal I’d get to see more and more of his adorable personality. I’m going to miss him pushing his head up under my arm to get more petting. I’m glad I was able to help him become more comfortable for his last few months here. Thank you Helen for trusting me to help him. The world needs more angels like you who are willing to take in these poor old dogs and give them the life they always deserved.
I have been dreading this day since the moment I met him.
I always know when I take on a senior dog with the level of medical issues Jupiter has that time is never on our side, but my goal is never more time, it’s what we do with the time we still have.
Last Thursday Jupiter moved much slower than usual. But he still ate and went outside. Then Friday more of the same. I counted it off to being tired from playing but couldn’t ignore the nagging I felt in my gut. This past weekend, his breathing, movement and functioning became much more labored. And knowing how bad his heart is I could only service a guess as to what was going on internally. He wasn’t getting up when I called him, he didn’t want to go outside with the other dogs. His heavy head lay on the deck with deep sighs. He finally looked so good on the outside, it was hard to remember that inside he was fighting another battle.
This morning was no better. He wouldn’t come down the deck stairs and he didn’t want to eat. He would walk a few steps and then collapse. I called the vet and brought him in. His heart just didn’t have anymore to give. So I held his big head and kissed him and told him it was okay to go now, he was safe and loved and didn’t have to keep trying.
I don’t know why this one hit me so hard, harder than most. I knew it was coming but I guess watching him blossom and his hair grow back and trotting around the yard just led me to believe he’d be here forever. Something about his eyes and the way he didn’t take any crap but also wanted to snuggle like a chihuahua under blankets. He was so magnificent, even old and fumbling, inside and out he was just a mighty dog.
I feel shattered and hollow, but I also feel at peace that he was with me, and he was able to hear me tell him I loved him one last time. And that he wasn’t alone, and he was comfortable, probably more comfortable than he’d ever been in his life, in the last few months he was here. Hundreds of pills, dozens of baths, mountains of laundry but all of it worth one life being saved. A huge thank you to Alyssa who donated so much time to come and bathe him twice a week for months to make him feel better. He absolutely loved you and it’s because of you he felt so good these past few weeks. And to my veterinary friends for all their advice, help, and counsel. I would be lost without you all and your knowledge and professionalism.
Thank you so everyone who also loved him with me. From close or afar. An intact massive amstaff mastiff with bald patches, scaly skin, blind but a heart of gold. He broke all the stigmas and was a true gentle giant. He deserved all that love so much.
Jupiter we love you. Please visit me. I will miss you so much. Say hi to Prudence for me, I think you two know each other already anyway. I’ll see you again one day, and I promise I’ll have cheese.
