05/24/2026
Control and Horsemanship
As humans we have the need to be in control, which is natural and necessary, as we are a vulnerable species, and our safety depends on it. When it comes to humans handling horses, given that they are a lot bigger, heavier, stronger than us, and have a highly developed flight reflex, we need to control our interactions with horses somewhat.
Is this always 100% necessary, in all situations? Is it even possible, realistically? The answer is no. It's not possible to control a horse 100%, ever. Horses have their own ideas, and are flight animals, and no amount of "holding down", twitching, cornering, etc. is going to work if a horse is scared or determined to move. In fact, trying to assert full control over a horse is what causes many accidents. The idea of needing to control horses is what causes forceful handling and training methods. I agree that there are moments when it is necessary to assert control, but they should be limited to emergency situation. Training through control, force, and fear, are never safe or effective, short or long-term. Scared horses are not safe horses!
A teacher of mine always said that the human-horse-relationship should be guided at 51% by the human and 49% by the horse. I generally agree with this, it is a good aim, but in reality it's not as simple, or as black-and-white as that. What about horses' needs? What horses care most about is to feel safe. In order to feel safe, horses need to have sufficient control over their environment. In order to feel in control, and therefore safe, horses need companionship by other horses, a predictable routine, environment, and clarity and consistency from us humans. As flight animals, horses are always ready to go into flight mode, which generally happens faster than an "assessment for safety" happens, which is why horses are dangerous animals to be around. So rather than trying to physically control them, which robs horses of the ability to make their own decisions and feel safe, we need to give them room for autonomy, and observe their body language and facial expressions as well as being aware of the surroundings at all times. When horses understand that we have this awareness and are paying attention to their needs, they automatically start to trust us and feel seen and taken-care of. This allows us to have less "control" over the situation, but more awareness, and therefore respond appropriately in challenging situations. Horses that feel safe are safe horses to be with!
There is an interesting concept out there called consensual horsemanship that focuses on getting horses' consent for whatever we want to do with them. I think this is a good concept, but, like with so many things, many people take it too far. It is an art to find the balance between any two extremes. I have seen people stand at a horse's stall door, waiting for "permission" to enter the stall, or approach the horse. Or, I have seen people using clicker training and giving a click and a treat for a "no" from the horse (that is a whole other subject of its own). That is where it all goes a little too far, in my opinion. It's like letting a three-year-old decide not to brush his teeth, because he thinks it's uncomfortable, or inconvenient. We cannot always give horses 100% control, or 100% deciding power. This could quickly become dangerous, or unhealthy, if it's about health care, training, or other necessary tasks that a domesticated horse has to do, or be accustomed to.
A healthy balance is to pay attention to horses' expressions, and to decide from one moment to the next whether we can "allow them to train us" by giving them what they are asking for. This can be little things, for example, I allow my mare ask me to fill a fresh bucket of water for her when we walk past the faucet on the barn aisle. She prefers this to drinking from the bucket in her stall, and it is a very easy way to let her know that I listen and understand what she is telling or asking me. Another thing I do to help her feel in control (and therefore safe) is to show her the bridle and saddle before tacking her up, and have her touch it to give her "ok" for putting it on her. These are little rituals we go through every day, and they help establish communication and trust between us. This trust goes a long way when I need to ask my horses to do something that they are not completely comfortable with. The trust means that I can ask for that little bit more, this one time, to get medical procedures done, or an emergency transport, or walking through a scary passage. I generally find that no extra desensitization training, or medical training is necessary for horses that I have this trusting relationship with (not wanting to discredit medical training - I think it's great!)
We - my husband Steve and I - work with several different horses every day. We work on their feet, which means we get into dangerous situations regularly, easily, and quickly. The scariest horses to work with are those that are scared. Those that think they may die. Standing on three legs when scared to death is not possible. I don't ever want to trim a horse that is as scared as that. Many times, taking a bit more "control" by asking the horse to back up, and then forward again, will help a horse feel safer, as it shows the horse that I am in control of the situation, and therefore taking care of him. But some horses need to be given more control in order to feel safe, so for example, letting them walk around and assess the environment can help them feel safer. Sometimes the circumstances that cause the horse to feel scared cannot be overcome in that situation, in which case it is wisest to discontinue, and take the task up at a better time, and/or building trust and confidence with more training first. It depends on the situation and the individual horse. Aiming for that 51-49% ratio is a good aim, but, as always with horses, flexibility and adaptibility to the individual situation, horse, and task, are crucial.
One starting point is to divide leadership into three different styles: • Telling Style (95% human, 5% horse)
• Coaching Style (51% human, 49% horse)
• Handover Style (5% human, 95% horse)
The "ratio of control" possibilities are infinite and can shift back and forth every moment, like a conversation. This does't mean being inconsistent, so it doesn't mean letting horses do something one day and not the next, but guiding the "conversation" one direction or letting it drift in another. What matters is that there is a conversation happening at all, rather than merely a monologue from the human's side.
What do you think? How do you handle control in your horsemanship?