06/01/2026
Deep Thoughts by Cotton
Today I turned 8.
People keep saying that makes me a “senior dog,” but honestly, I feel like that’s just human propaganda from people who can’t handle my wisdom, charisma, and cake-eating efficiency.
I have learned many things in my eight years on this Earth:
Cake tastes better when you steal the first bite.
Frosting is not a snack. It is a lifestyle.
Balloons are suspicious, but acceptable if they honor me.
Leashes are merely decorative suggestions.
And birthdays are proof that the universe occasionally gets something exactly right.
Some dogs chase squirrels.
Some dogs guard the house.
Some dogs bring back the ball.
Me? I bring joy, crumbs, chaos, and just enough frosting on my face to remind everyone that life is meant to be devoured.
Thank you for celebrating another trip around the sun with me.
Now please stop taking pictures and return me to my cake.
Love,
Cotton
Birthday Boy. Frosting Philosopher. Eight years iconic.
