03/13/2025
Swiping Right for the Real MVPs: The Pets
As a 25-year-old woman navigating the chaotic world of dating apps, I’ve developed a simple but foolproof swiping system: pets equal priority. No pet in the profile? I might pause, analyze, and debate. But if there’s a dog, cat, or any kind of furry (or even scaly) friend? That’s a guaranteed 25% increase in swipe probability.
Of course, once we match, my first line is rarely about the guy himself. Instead, the real star of the show gets all the attention:
— “What’s their name?”
— “How old are they?”
— “Are they your pet, or did you strategically borrow them for this photo?”
The responses vary. Some proudly gush about their beloved fur baby, while others sheepishly admit, “Oh yeah, that’s actually my sister’s dog.” I’ve even had a guy confess he borrowed a friend’s golden retriever for one afternoon just to get better matches. Honestly? I respect the hustle.
Do these conversations always lead to a date? Not necessarily. But do I regret swiping just to talk about someone’s pet for five minutes? Never. Because in the end, I may not always find love—but at least I always find a cute or funny animal to obsess over.
( come on tell me this isn’t funny 😆)
