08/01/2025
🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨
Veterinarians are baffled as Dudley Doolittle the pomeranian is officially diagnosed with a newly discovered behavioral phenomenon:
Snack-Selective Hearing Syndrome (SSHS) — a rare but hilarious condition.
🧬 Symptoms include:
Total deafness when hearing “Come inside,” “Bath time,” or “Leave the cat alone”
Sonic-level superhearing when a cheese wrapper crinkles from 4 blocks away
Telepathic connection activated by the word “walk” — whispered, from under your breath, in another galaxy
Immediate Beethoven-level ear function only when food is in play
🩺 Scientists have concluded:
Dudley's ears are perfectly functional. He’s just…on a custom setting.
🎛️ Ear Modes Detected:
❌ Ignore
❌ Ignore Harder
❌ Vanish into Thin Air
✅ Food Radar Activated™
🐾 Public advisory:
Do not attempt to command Dudley without snacks.
Do not whisper "treat" unless you're emotionally prepared to follow through.
And remember: He's not being stubborn—he's just living his truth.
More updates as the cheese supply dwindles.
