08/30/2026
5 Reasons You Should NOT Give In to Those Golden Retriever Eyes
1. Because once they realize the sad little eyebrow raise works, it’s over.
You no longer own snacks. You are merely the snack distributor.
2. One bite “just this once” will somehow become a legally binding agreement that they receive a bite of everything you ever eat.
3. They will stare at you like they haven’t eaten in six business days… approximately 14 minutes after dinner.
4. Giving in teaches them that all they have to do is sit quietly, tilt their head, and look emotionally devastated until you crack.
5. Eventually, you’ll realize you’ve rearranged your entire life around a furry con artist with beautiful eyes and absolutely no remorse.
Stay strong.
Do not make eye contact.
And whatever you do…
Do NOT look at the eyebrows.
