10/31/2026
I CHOSE TO QUIT.
Everyone says, “Always end on a good note.”
But what happens when ending on a good note means knowing when to get off?
This weekend, I was teaching a clinic alongside a good friend of mine. I brought two horses to use for demonstrations: Fillinic and Remuda.
Halfway through the first day, I switched from Fillinic to Remuda. The moment I got on, I could tell something wasn’t right. Remuda was charged up, pent-up, touchy, and just not herself.
I chalked it up to a few possible things. Maybe she had some extra energy to burn. Maybe it was the new surroundings, unfamiliar horses, or the cold fall morning. There were plenty of reasons a young horse might feel a little more reactive than usual.
So, I started working through my normal routine.
Bending. Redirecting. Softening. Slow, easy movements to help her settle her mind and free up her body.
Except the more I tried to soften her, the worse she got.
She went from being a little restless and forward to feeling like a ticking time bomb.
At this point, I had several riders in the arena who had never roped before. They were learning the fundamentals of rope handling and management, focusing on their own horses and practicing their exercises.
Meanwhile, Remuda was pawing, stomping, shaking her head, dancing around, and bracing against my hands and legs.
She was MAD!
And I don’t mean a little irritated. I mean something was seriously wrong.
I could feel it building, and I knew that if she finally blew, it wasn’t going to be pretty.
So, I made a decision.
I got off.
I stripped her saddle and tied her up, even though we were nowhere near ending on a good note.
In fact, this was by far the WORST she had ever behaved with me.
I got off after she had given me her worst behavior yet.
I quit on a BAD NOTE.
So why would I do that? Why would I seemingly reward bad behavior by getting off when my horse was acting like that?
Because I KNOW my horse.
Remuda is a young horse with fewer than 50 rides, but she has always had an incredible amount of try. Even when she has gotten nervous in the past, I’ve always been able to bring her back to me within seconds. She softens, settles, and goes right back to working with me.
It’s not in her nature to fight harder and get progressively worse as I ask her to soften and come back to me.
And this wasn’t a horse who simply hadn’t experienced enough of the world.
I’ve hauled Remuda to multiple clinics this summer to serve as a demonstration horse. She’s been in big arenas with loud speakers. She’s experienced the chaos of warm-up in a team roping pen. She’s gathered cattle in rough country and given lessons to teenagers.
She’s been exposed to plenty of things that could have made a young horse nervous.
And through all of it, she has been willing, soft, and full of try.
Could the cold weather have bothered her? Sure. Could the new surroundings or unfamiliar horses have contributed? Absolutely.
But none of those explanations accounted for what I was feeling underneath me.
I didn’t believe I was dealing with a training problem. I believed I was dealing with a horse who was hurting.
And I was going to listen.
Thankfully, my good friend who was photographing the clinic also happens to be Remuda’s bodyworker.
I immediately asked her to come check Remuda over.
My friend has worked on Remuda since she was halter broke. She knows what normal feels like for this horse. Remuda is typically extremely loose and supple throughout her body.
This time, she wasn’t.
She was incredibly tight from her head all the way through her hind end. Almost her entire body was locked up.
Recently, my husband and I moved to a new ranch job that involves considerably more riding. The previous week, he had used Remuda at cow camp to gather cattle and bring them home for the winter. She had a few longer days in the saddle than we originally anticipated.
It was entirely possible that the additional workload had left her stiff and sore, with significant muscle tension throughout her body.
I knew she’d had a busy week, but I hadn’t expected her to be this uncomfortable.
That evening, my friend worked on her body, and the difference was incredible.
The next day, I had my horse back.
Remuda was calm, cool, and herself again. Her body was softer, she was more comfortable, and she was ready to work.
I even roped a live cow off her for the first time.
The same horse who had felt like a ticking time bomb the day before was back to being the willing, soft-minded horse I knew.
That experience reinforced something I believe every horseman needs to understand.
You have to know YOUR horse.
Not just what your horse can do, but what your horse normally feels like, how your horse normally responds, and what changes when something isn’t right.
Horses communicate constantly. Sometimes it’s obvious, and sometimes it’s subtle. Sometimes we get so focused on what we want to accomplish that we overlook what the horse is trying to tell us.
When a horse becomes irritable, resistant, or unusually reactive, there are several possible explanations. Two important ones to consider are:
1. Confusion and frustration.
Sometimes a horse doesn’t understand what we’re asking. Our cues may be unclear, our timing may be off, or we’ve asked for something the horse isn’t ready to understand. That lack of understanding can lead to frustration, resistance, and unwanted behavior.
In those situations, it’s our job to improve our communication, break things down, and help the horse find the right answer.
2. Pain or physical discomfort.
Sometimes the horse understands perfectly well. They simply don’t feel good.
Pain, soreness, muscle tension, ill-fitting tack, and other physical problems can all affect a horse’s behavior. A horse that is normally willing may become resistant. A horse that normally stands quietly may become restless. A horse that usually softens may suddenly brace against every cue.
That doesn’t automatically mean pain is the answer every time a horse acts up. Behavior has many causes, and sometimes we need veterinary evaluation to identify the problem.
But we cannot afford to assume every resistance is a training issue.
Sometimes the most important thing we can teach our horses is that we will listen when they tell us something is wrong.
Below are two photos my friend took during the clinic.
The top photo is Remuda on the first day, when she was uncomfortable. Notice the tension in her body and how she appears almost scrunched up underneath me.
The bottom photo is Remuda on the second day, after her bodywork. Notice the difference in her posture, the softness in her body, and the more relaxed expression in her eyes.
These photos are a good reminder that a horse’s body language can tell us a lot, especially when we know what is normal for that individual horse.
SO, WHAT’S THE LESSON?
I didn’t get off Remuda because I was afraid to train her. I got off because I knew continuing to push through what I was feeling wasn’t the right answer.
Could I have forced her through the session? Maybe.
Could I have kept asking, correcting, and trying to make her behave? Probably.
But what would I have accomplished?
I might have gotten a few more exercises done, but at what cost to her comfort, her confidence, and our partnership?
Good horsemanship isn’t about winning every argument. It’s about knowing which arguments never needed to happen in the first place.
We talk so much about ending on a good note that sometimes we forget the bigger picture. Yes, we want to finish our sessions with our horses understanding the lesson and feeling successful whenever possible.
But ending on a good note should never become an excuse to ignore what our horses are telling us.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is take a step back, investigate the problem, and come back another day.
Sometimes quitting isn’t giving up. Sometimes it’s making the right decision for your horse.
And sometimes the best training decision you can make is to put your pride aside, take the saddle off, and listen.
Because our job isn’t just to teach horses how to respond to us. It’s to become good enough horsemen to recognize when they’re asking us for help.
Huge thank you to A.K. Photography and Videography for capturing the clinic and getting my girl back!
