07/27/2025
I took Mason and a friend to the river last night to swim. Molly and I were hanging out on the shore when I watched a sad scenario unfold, a boy, maybe 8/9 years old started to have a meltdown, screaming at his dad on the shore; “I can’t even touch there! No, this is stupid, I’m not doing it!” He was screaming, pacing, crying, waving his arms, clearly in distress. And when his dad couldn’t talk him into getting in the water, he left him on the shore and began swimming with his friends. His son became even more disregulated and began screaming, “I hate you! I’m done! I want to leave! This is so stupid!” He was completely inconsolable, screeching at the top of his lungs.
I felt so bad for him because I could see that his nervous system was deeply dysregulated, he was trying desperately to advocate for himself, for his needs, and it was falling on deaf ears.
🛑 I watched multiple parents with children who were afraid of the water use stress flooding techniques to get their kids in the water last night (ie throw them in the deep end if they’re too afraid to swim). This tool is often chosen because this is the only tool on the parent’s belt, sometimes it works and the child has fun. But 2/3 of the time it doesn’t, and it often makes things worse, by flooding the nervous system and interrupting the felt safety of the parent bond.
The nervous system aware method is called titration- chunking the experience into small steps- “I’m going to stand right here with you, I’m not going anywhere, I’ve got you. Do you think you might like to put your feet in the water? It’s okay if you don’t, I’m here with you either way.” 💚
🚩 But titration too quickly (okay you got your feet in, lets go all the way in) can cause something we call ratio strain- where the nervous system doesn’t have time to recover between minor stressors, and fear and shutdown are more likely. This is why if you have a child who is sensitive or becomes deregulated easily (this can look like shut down too- not talking, refusing to get in the water, but quietly) working with a professional can really benefit you in planning appropriate titration and preventing ratio strain and shut down.
There were probably 20 people staring at this boy, even Mason was rolling his eyes, it had to be so stressful for this boy to be desperately trying to advocate for himself- for his need for safety and security, with no response from his caretaker. And then experiencing shame for having a meltdown and being judged by strangers. If your child is Autistic, has ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, or just struggles to manage their emotions, my canine assisted nervous system regulation training could be a game changer for you. Please reach out to me if you’d like to learn more.
Molly, the goodest girl watched calmly from my side, I could see the concern on her face. I’m looking forward to October when I become fully licensed and Molly and I can really begin to help families build more regulation and safety 💗💗💗🐾
