06/01/2026
If you’ve ever owned an English Mastiff, you already know this chart is 100% scientifically accurate. 😂
Stage 1: Tiny English Mastiff puppy. Perfect fit.
Stage 2: Still a puppy. Still a lap dog.
Stage 3: Small horse phase. Questioning every life choice.
Stage 4: Full-grown English Mastiff… still completely convinced your lap belongs to them.
That is the funny thing about giant breed dogs. They have absolutely no clue how big they are. One minute you’re bringing home this sweet little 8-week-old Mastiff puppy, and the next thing you know, you’re sharing your favorite chair with a 200-pound gentle giant who truly believes they still fit.
And let’s talk about mistakes we make as Mastiff owners…
We taught one of ours to shake when she was a tiny puppy. It was adorable at the time.
Fast forward a couple of years.
Now she has paws the size of dinner plates and claws like a tiny bear. She still thinks she’s being the sweetest girl, politely offering her paw, but meanwhile it’s dragging down your arm, your leg, or your side like a furry medieval weapon. 😂
And the best part?
She looks so proud of herself afterward.
Like, “Look Mom, I did the trick!”
Meanwhile, you’re checking to make sure you still have all your skin attached.
Mastiffs are big, goofy, gentle, loving, and absolutely convinced they are tiny babies forever.
Can anybody else relate? What’s the funniest thing your Mastiff still does because they think they’re a little puppy? 👇
