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PUPPY Purton, Hopkinton, MA (2026)

06/02/2026

BREAKING NEWS FROM THE ESTATE: Princess Puppy Purton has once again declared the entire house to be her personal cruise ship and the stairs… well, the stairs are apparently just a launch ramp for high-speed dock-line-based chaos.

Today’s episode begins with what can only be described as “controlled descent is optional.”

The video shows Her Royal Highness charging down the stairs at full speed, ears flying, paws barely touching each step, while proudly dragging her rope dock line behind her like she’s preparing to moor a yacht in a storm or escape a very important royal engagement (possibly both).

There is absolutely no hesitation. No regard for physics. No awareness of gravity. Just pure Labrador optimism.

And then—because no Purton adventure can stay simple for more than 4.7 seconds—she finds it.

A plastic lobster.

Not just *any* plastic lobster. A dock-line-entangled, slightly suspicious, definitely-a-treasure plastic lobster that has now been declared:

✨ PROPERTY OF THE PRINCESS ✨

She stops mid-chaos like she just discovered ancient maritime treasure. Sniff. Tilt head. Squint. Reassess life choices. Then: nom.

Because obviously, if it’s in the dock line, it’s basically seafood.

Hula, meanwhile, is watching from a safe emotional distance with the expression of someone who has already filed paperwork titled:
“Concerns Regarding My Household’s Leadership Structure.”

Purton’s thoughts at this stage are believed to be:

“Is this mine?”
“Why is this crunchy?”
“Where is the butter?”
“I deserve a maritime snack allowance immediately.”

She attempted to carry the lobster away like a trophy, but the dock line had other plans, resulting in a dramatic staircase re-enactment of:
🎭 “Pirates of the Couch: The Tangled Revenge.”

Eventually, she settled for standing proudly over her catch like a very small, very chaotic dragon guarding treasure, tail wagging like she just won a seafood-themed lottery.

No lobsters were harmed in the making of this video.
The dignity of the princess, however, remains missing in action.

Send BUTTAH (yes, I now have a Boston accent). Send applause. Send possibly a net to contain future dock-line incidents.

Princess Puppy Purton will be available for interviews after her nap… or possibly never, depending on whether she finds another “ocean artifact” under the couch.

05/31/2026

Princess Puppy Purton Facebook Post 🐾⛵

Well… I’m not saying I’m a seasoned sailor or anything… but I am saying I understand the importance of proper yacht etiquette.

Step 1: Stand proudly on the bench like I own the vessel.
Step 2: Survey the horizon like a very serious captain-in-training.
Step 3: Realize sailing is tiring and gently rest my noble little head right on the teak deck.

Dad said I look “peaceful.” 🥹
Mom said I look like a hippopotamus. 🦛
Rude. Completely uncalled for. I am clearly a highly aerodynamic maritime princess.

Hula thinks I was just being dramatic.
She is probably right. But I refuse to comment without my attorney present.

Sincerely,
Princess Purton 🐶⚓
Professional bench-standing, deck-resting, unfairly slandered sea traveler

05/30/2026

👑🐾A Royal Statement from Princess Puppy Purton Herself🐾👑

Ahem. Umm… excuse me, humans.
It’s me. Princess Puppy Purton. And I have an announcement.

Today, the sky was leaking. Again. No one asked my permission. No one consulted the throne. And frankly, I was *not* prepared.

So, naturally, I did what any dignified royal would do on such a dreadful, drippy day:
I flopped into my puppy bed and rolled around like a majestic, wiggly croissant.

I may have… temporarily misplaced my regal height.
I may have… kicked my own blanket.
I may have… bonked my snoot on the side of the bed.
But listen—rainy days are confusing, and I was doing my best.

Please enjoy this video evidence of my royal silliness. I expect applause, admiration, and possibly snacks.

Signed with a royal tail flick,
Her Royal Highness,
Princess Puppy Purton 👑✨

05/30/2026

👑🐾 Princess Puppy Purton here!

Wow. I always thought I had free rein of the castle, but apparently that is not the case.

The other day Mom found me relaxing on the couch. Now, I don’t remember receiving any official invitation to be up there, but I figured as the Princess, invitations are more of a suggestion anyway.

Mom looked at me and said, “Purton, get down.”

Well, I’m a very good little princess, so I immediately obeyed…

…just as soon as Mom sat down on the couch herself. 😇

I hopped right down and gave her my sweetest “See? I listened!” face.

Meanwhile, Hula sat there laughing at me the whole time because she knew exactly what I was trying to get away with.

Honestly, can someone explain why Mom thinks a dog bed is an appropriate throne for royalty? I mean, have you ever seen a princess ruling a kingdom from a dog bed?

The struggle is real when you’re trying to maintain royal standards around here. 👑🐾😂

05/28/2026

🚨🐾 OFFICIAL PRINCESS PUPPY PURTON CORRECTION 🐾🚨

As you all know, Mom helps me with my Facebook posts because I was unfortunately born without thumbs. I do, however, have fabulous dew claws, which should count for something.

In one of my posts, Mom reported that I was going up the escalator at the airport. Well, I have called an emergency press conference to announce that this statement was completely and totally untrue.

I was NOT on the escalator.

I was walking very nicely down the stairs on leash with my parents like the well-trained future service dog that I am. The gentleman going up the escalator was actually one of the Diplomatic Security agents.

Honestly. Do you all know me at all?

I am afraid of water. I am suspicious of automatic doors. And escalators? Those are clearly mechanical stair monsters designed to eat puppy paws. There is absolutely no chance I voluntarily stepped onto one.

Now elevators are a completely different matter.

I LOVE elevators.

You walk into a little room, the doors magically close, and then—POOF—you come out somewhere entirely different. It is basically wizardry. A magical moving box with buttons. Someday, when I am older and have earned sufficient Princess privileges, I fully expect to be allowed to push one of those buttons myself.

Until then, I would like the record corrected.

Princess Puppy Purton:
✔️ Stairs
✔️ Elevators
❌ Escalators
❌ Sea monsters
❌ Water of any kind

Thank you for attending this important correction of the public record.

👑🐾
HRH Princess Puppy Purton

05/28/2026

Princess Puppy Purton 👑🐾

Mom! MOM! Before anyone says a word, I KNOW what you’re thinking.

“Princess, that is not how a proper young lady sits.”

Well… first of all, I am a puppy. Second of all, I was in the middle of a very important sunbathing session. Third of all, comfort is a royal privilege.

As you can clearly see, I have invented a brand-new position called the Royal Pretzel of Relaxation™. It allows maximum sunshine absorption while requiring absolutely zero effort.

Some people do yoga.
Some people meditate.
I sit like a potato with legs and recharge my puppy batteries.

And yes, I was smiling because I heard Mom laughing and taking pictures instead of helping me preserve my dignity.

The good news is that the sunbeam was excellent.
The bad news is that this photo evidence now exists forever.

Please remember that princesses should not be judged during nap-adjacent activities.

👑☀️🐾

05/27/2026

Today’s royal meeting did not exactly go as planned. 👑🐾

Princess Lilly Rose arrived ready for serious discussions regarding the state of our kingdoms. Hula attended as head of security and senior advisor. I, Princess Puppy Purton, was prepared to lead the meeting with grace, dignity, and professionalism.

Unfortunately…no one else seemed focused.

Princess Lilly Rose spent most of the summit whispering secrets into Hula’s ear. Very suspicious behavior. I believe they may have been discussing snack distribution without me.

Meanwhile Hula sat there pretending to be serious and responsible while clearly enjoying all the attention.

And me? I was forced to supervise everything from the royal steps while dealing with complete exhaustion from carrying this entire administration on my tiny puppy shoulders.

Still, important matters were discussed:
✨ More snacks
✨ Earlier dinner service
✨ Additional playtime
✨ Mandatory cuddle breaks
✨ Better enforcement of “puppies get whatever they want”

Progress is slow, but we remain hopeful the humans will eventually cooperate.

Signed,
Princess Puppy Purton
Supervisor of Chaos, Treat Inspector, and Clearly the Only One Working Around Here

05/27/2026

Well it was a very successful summit between the kingdoms of Princess Puppy Purton and Princess Lilly Rose. 👑🐾

After many important discussions, serious negotiations, and a few snack breaks, we are proud to announce exciting changes are coming to our royal households.

First order of business: meals will now be catered. Yes, catered. We have made it very clear that princesses should NEVER have to wait for dinner, and the quality of kibble service has been discussed at great length.

Second, we are implementing a new Puppy Happiness Initiative which includes:
✨ More walks
✨ More playtime
✨ More belly rubs
✨ More snacks
✨ More attention to the very important needs of puppies everywhere

For far too long the humans have focused on “work” and “responsibilities” while ignoring the true priorities of the kingdom…US.

Unfortunately, after all our planning, we realized there was one tiny problem…

Neither of us actually knows who is in charge around here or how to get any of these new rules approved. 🤔

At this time the royal decrees remain pending while we continue investigations into who controls the treat budget.

Signed,
Princess Puppy Purton & Princess Lilly Rose 👑🐾

05/25/2026

Princess Puppy Purton here… and apparently the humans looked outside at the pouring rain ALL day and said… “You know what this weather needs? A POOL PARTY.” 🤨☔️

Not just any pool party either. A FANCY pool party.

My dear friend Princess Lilly Rose 🌹 was there along with lifeguard Hula, who took her duties VERY seriously. There was splashing, zooming, barking, and what I can only describe as complete aquatic chaos.

Now before you ask… NO. I did not go in the pool.
Nope.
Not even one tiny toe bean touched that water.

You all know about the sea monsters. I have discussed this many times. Just because the humans call it a “pool” does not mean I am falling for their trap. Nice try.

They kept saying things like:
“Purton, it’s safe!”
“Purton, come join the fun!”
“Purton, it’s protocol for fancy pool parties!”

Protocol?! ABSOLUTELY NOT.

I proudly supervised the entire event from a safe, dry, elegant distance like the royal dignitary I am. Someone had to maintain standards while the others risked their lives with the sea monsters. 🐾👑

05/24/2026

Mom. Mom. MOMMMMM. 🚨🐾

I would like to formally report a crime.

As you can clearly see in this photo, I was minding my own business, being adorable, innocent, and honestly a gift to humanity… when Hula STOLE MY TOY. Right out from under me. Then she laid there looking all calm and mature like I’m the problem.

The worst part? Everyone keeps saying things like:
“Purton, maybe Hula is helping you settle down.”
“Purton, maybe Hula is protecting the toy.”
“Purton, maybe you already had 14 toys out.”

FAKE NEWS.

This is what happens when your security detail starts taking their job too seriously. Apparently Hula has promoted herself to:
✅ Head of Toy Security
✅ Chief Fun Police
✅ Director of Unauthorized Zoomies
✅ Senior Investigator of Suspicious Squeaking Sounds

Meanwhile I am just a baby princess trying to live my truth. 👑

I attempted negotiations. Denied.
I attempted dramatic sighing. Ignored.
I attempted laying on Mom’s feet and looking emotionally wounded. Slightly successful.

Please note Hula has not even PLAYED with the toy. She just doesn’t want ME to have it. This feels personal.

Anyway if anyone needs me, I’ll be filing complaints with management and staring sadly out the window until justice is served.

PUPPY Purton

06/02/2026

05/31/2026

05/30/2026

05/30/2026

05/28/2026

05/28/2026

05/27/2026

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05/25/2026

05/24/2026

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