11/26/2025
What matters most to you?
How others see you?
How your horse sees you?
How you see yourself?
Do they all matter? Absolutely! But some matter more than others.
It matters how others see you because this is a service industry...but not everyone's opinion matters. If you disagree with someone on welfare and safety for horse and human, let their opinion go. If they are stuck in a fixed mindset, let their opinion go. If they care more about optics than the work, let their opinion go. If what they have to say is not right for you right now, let their opinion go. It doesn't matter how "powerful" the person is, if their philosophy and yours don't align, their opinion might not matter. We can reflect and learn something from everyone and self-reflection is critical, but we need to find the boundaries that keep our mindset healthy. Growth is an endless journey and we have to know who is worthy of pushing us to grow. Do not allow opinions to unsettle your peace.
The last two questions will help with the boundaries for the first:
1. Study your horse. What do they tell you in times of struggle - will they turn to you for help or want away? Know their eyes, they will tell you everything. Building that trust is a journey. Search for the times your horse is saying "no" - how can that become a partnered "yes"?
2. What is YOUR philosophy? Not that of the people around you, the coaches you've had, the people you admire, social media, the industry itself....have you studied and reflected enough to have your own philosophy? Have you applied, reflected, adapted, and reapplied so you have a deep understanding of the why behind your philosophy? What do you believe in behavior science, physical conditioning, equine welfare, etc.? You can only assess well if this is clear. Your philosophy does not need to be rigid, new "whys" may come along that challenge and change our view, and that is OK. But you need a foundation to stand on or the opinions of others WILL wreck your peace.
If you don't have that foundation, you need to study under someone who can help you develop. There is no substitute for experience and your horse's feedback. 💕