Wynn Duffy

Wynn Duffy Surfer


I think there should be a new sport where whichever sport gets the most angry tweets from Trump wins.

The NFL is winning right now, but I think if the NHL kneels during the American national anthem and salutes the Canadian national anthem they can score some major tweets.


Dear betting people: Pliskova, Vandeweghe (even though I hope to lose this one), and Keys. Support your local women's tennis bookie because he's working hard this Labor Day.


I'd like to put a trombone mute on Sharapova's face during matches. #MikeyWouldHaveWantedItThatWay


Greetings from Fiji. It's been a while. I just want to say Coco Vandeweghe deserves to lose because her name is Coco Vandeweghe.


There have been so many horrible events lately, but to me the biggest tragedy of all is having both Williams sisters not knocked out of Wimbledon.


Hi All,

It's been a while. I just want you to know that Fiji is still beautiful. It's become even more beautiful now that I've caught up on the reality program "Election 2016". I can't vote because of what should be obvious reasons, so if you could all vote for the candidate who will ensure that there's still a USA around should I choose to return if greatly appreciate it.


I just want to wish you all a Merry Christmas! It could be Christmas here in Fiji but I don't know and more importantly don't care what time zone I'm in. So if it's not Christmas yet, just re-read this tomorrow. Surf's up!


Hi Everybody,

It's been a while. I just want to let you know that I'm alive and well here in Fiji and I haven't had to kill anyone in two weeks!


That was some Republican debate last night. It was the type of event that makes me glad to be in Fiji.

Rand Paul makes Quarles look like Mister Rodgers.


Sorry it's been a while. I was so depressed about Serena Williams winning Wimbledon, I drove my motor coach into 5 of my other motor coaches. I have backups.


Wow, Serena Williams vs Sharapova in the semis. I'll have to watch that with my noise canceling earphones and a sleep mask.


Wimbledon!!! I hope Serena pulls a choke job in the first round.


I don't want my explosive skills getting rusty so I've been blowing up sharks. No one seems to mind and it's good for tourism. To celebrate the 40th anniversary of Jaws, I've been jamming oxygen tanks in their craws with C4 taped to them. It's overkill but it's fun.


I get as excited about Serena Williams winning a Grand Slam title as I do when I'm buying socks.


Jesus. I'm almost at 500 likes. I'm also just under 4,000 tolerates and a smudge below 32,000 death threats.


I just shot a drug dealer because I miss shooting people. I used a paintball gun because I don't want to ruin the good thing I have going here.


You know, paradise can be dull sometimes. To remedy this I bought a junkyard and made a few car bombs. Good times.

I've been called the Jackson Pollock of car bombs, although technically you could call any car bomb maker that and be correct.


I need Wimbledon and I need it now.


I tried to buy a motor coach in Fiji, but it took up half the island. It was a standard size motor coach, it's just Fiji is f**king tiny.


I am loving Fiji. 1. No Raylan. 2. Everyone in Harlan doesn't understand what an airplane is, so no anyone from Harlan. 3. Every beverage is rum-based, even the water.

Those were the days. Thanks, Bill.

Those were the days. Thanks, Bill.


I just wallpapered my mansion in $100s... and then painted over it in taupe, which is surprisingly hard to find in Fiji.


I've got two words about Fiji: Even Tan.


I've got to tell you all, if you're able to get your hands on nine million dollars and flee to Fiji, you should try it. It really takes the sting out of forced retirement and the death of your surrogate son.

Wynn Duffy's cover photo

Wynn Duffy's cover photo


Four on the Floor!


In case if you're wondering. I live and I run away with the money.


I'm missing Mikey a lot right now, especially because I need to go somewhere right now, and I'm really not up for driving.

Thanks to Nochal Bestiny for the cover image! Not a bad idea.

Thanks to Nochal Bestiny for the cover image! Not a bad idea.

Wynn Duffy's cover photo

Wynn Duffy's cover photo


Now hiring: Bodyguard/Driver. Will be allowed to pick music, take breaks where I can drive, and will be addressed by preferred name.


I don't know where to start.


As Mikey's longest standing employer, I would think that The Code would apply first and foremost to me.

Where's my Code love?


I saw a panini grill today and had a flashback.


Douchebago? Really?


My tan is now extremely uneven.


Mikey really needs to step up his dry cleaning game.


I was hoping to see a Mikey vs. Choo-Choo fight but it would now appear to be a very unfair fight.


Always remember your 5 or 6 "c"s of diamonds.


Mikey handles a cattle prod like he handles an "x" in Scrabble. Liberally.


I'm very aplexxed right now.


So... I'm not very good with kids.


I swear I'm still cleaning out blood deeply ingrained in my pores.


The only thing I hate more than an uneven tan is having my tan interrupted by Captain Boom.


So... How about that Choo-Choo? I'd love to get him on the payroll just to confuse people.


Columbia, AL


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