04/11/2026
We are here to listen to the whisper...
“He’s not in pain, we’ve had everything checked.”
If there is one phrase that will set me off faster than any other, it's this one, and I used to be someone who would say it.
You may have had a vet check, the dentist, farrier, physio and saddle fitter out, but that does not mean your horse is not in pain, it does not mean they are free from discomfort, it does not mean that the behaviour isn't stress related.
What it means is that you've checked all the tick boxes in your head and drawn the conclusion that it's ''just them''.
But the uncomfortable reality that a lot of people don't like to sit with is that your horse is communicating, and you aren't listening or understanding.
Horses communicate with us all the time, in tiny, sometimes unnoticeable ways if you aren't paying attention - a slight hesitation to go forward, tightening the jaw when you pick up the reins, the ears that flick back and stay there a bit too long, the tail swish, the head toss.
Those are whispers, and they are really easy to ignore if the horse still ''does the job''.
So we keep going, we kick on, we put the jumps up, we enter the test, because you've had 'everything checked'.
Now they're resisting, they're hollowing, bracing, refusing to go forwards.
We label it quirky, attitude, laziness, mareish, spicy, sharp and we kick on, we pick up a whip, put on some spurs, buy a titanium mask, swap the bit.
Then you get the explosions, the fly bucking, the leaping, the sideways canter, the tanking off after a fence, the rushing to get to the fence.
And what do we do? We post it online. People laugh, people like, people share, people praise the ''amazing seat'' of the rider and what they don't see is a horse screaming, trying desperately to communicate and not only being ignored, but being pushed for more.
Horses do not go from fine to explosive overnight. They whisper, the ask, they insist, they shout and then they scream, and somewhere in that time, we missed it - or we dismissed it, because we've 'had everything checked'.
Everything is not everything. Pain isn't always obvious, stress shows up in different ways, discomfort doesn't always show up on an x-ray…and even if it's not pain, it's still communication. Confusion, stress, overwhelm, fear. This isn't 'misbehaviour', this isn't personality traits or character.
Horses do not wake up with an intention to misbehave, they are not capable of 'choosing' a behaviour knowing the consequence, but instead of listening to the scream, or hearing the whisper, it's quicker to put on a flash, change the bit, tighten the noseband, buy a supplement and give them a label.
Listening properly requires us to question ourselves - our riding, our management, our expectations - and that’s the bit people really don't like.
None of us are perfect, I'm certainly not, but I'm learning and I don't intend to every stop. The moment you really start paying attention to your horse, you realise just how succinctly and discreetly they communicate.
If you hear the whisper, they never have to shout.