06/19/2026
I thought I'd do a quick update as things are changing here.
Mike has to go back to work this Monday.
This week I've been training and trying my best to prepare for being alone, not only with getting everyone up and cared for for the day, but with not having the security of knowing Mike is here.
It's a scary transition.
I've been doing good though with getting everyone up and situated in the morning. It's just something that really wipes me out and I need to rest or nap for a little bit afterwards.
This recovery has been one of the hardest things I've faced in life. There are many aspects to it. Physically, emotionally and mentally.
For a week and a half I started falling into a dark hole. I knew depression had wrapped itself around my ankles and was pulling me down into its dark hole of hopelessness.
I've been fighting it as hard as I can. I feel I'm giving it all I have to not let it hold its grip on me. It's a constant fight and it's not easy.
I see my cardiologist this Tuesday.
On June 29th I start my cardiac rehabilitation at Duke!
It's a long program (3 months/36 sessions). As I was being sighed up for orientation we went over my goals. I just want my physical strength back, my heart to be strong and work as she should and for my brain fog to go away.
Besides the physical pain, and the mental and emotional challenges, the brain fog is absolutely horrific. I asked the cardiac rehab nurse about it and she said it was a common complaint of heart surgery patients and it can take weeks for it to go away.
This has been one of the most challenging times of my life and I am so ready for it to be behind me.
I'm honestly doing the best I can to make that happen.
Everyone has been happy to have me back in their morning routines.
Including Mason.
He hasn't pecked me once and looks at me like "you're going to be ok now right?" It wouldn't surprise me if he knew something was wrong with my heart and if he knew how serious it was.
Non human animals are in tune like that.
Mike has been my absolute rock through all of this.
He did not leave my side in the hospital and he has not only taken care of me since we got home, but he has also taken care of the animals.
He's listened to me as I've cried and as I've complained and as I've cried some more.
He has not complained once about it or has gotten upset with me.
I know all of this has not been easy for him either, but he's handled it better than most people would.
Monday will be a big change.
I will be doing my best to get life back to normal around here as quickly as I can.
I so look forward to the day when this ordeal is behind us.
It's felt like a nightmare and I just want it far behind us and for life to be normal again.
EDITING TO ADD: my best friend Donna lives right across the street from us. We have radios that we both wear, ever since my diagnosis and when Mike wasn't home. We still wear the radios to communicate because they are easier than cell phones. If I need anything all I need to do is hit the button and Donna will be here in a matter of seconds. When she's not home, her husband Ira wears the radio and if I need anything he'll also be here in seconds. I'm very grateful for our system and that we live so close to each other and watch over each other.