05/31/2026
There is one memory with Zephyr that has stayed with me.
For a while, for many reasons, some within my control and many that were not, we became disconnected as partners. Looking back now, there were things happening that I did not even know about at the time. Things that were quietly chipping away at his trust in me.
That loss of trust showed up everywhere.
He became less responsive. Less patient. Things that had once felt easy suddenly felt difficult. Every interaction seemed to require more effort, and I found myself becoming increasingly frustrated.
One day at the wash rack, that frustration got the better of me.
Nothing dramatic happened. There was no big wreck and no dangerous behavior. But I remember walking away feeling absolutely awful. I felt disappointed in myself and ashamed of how I had handled the situation. I remember thinking that I had failed him as a partner in that moment.
It remains the interaction with him that I regret the most.
What I understand now is that there were things going on that neither of us knew how to communicate. He was losing trust. I was becoming frustrated. We were both struggling, and neither of us was showing up as our best selves.
The beautiful thing about horses is that they are honest. They tell you exactly where the relationship stands.
Today, I look at him and see a horse who trusts me again. Not because I demanded it, but because we rebuilt it together. One conversation at a time. One good experience at a time. One moment of listening instead of reacting.
That memory still makes my stomach hurt a little, but I am grateful for it now. It reminds me that being a good horseman is not about being perfect. It is about taking accountability when you fall short and doing the work to earn your horse’s trust back.
Zephyr and I are in a much better place today, and that partnership means more to me than any ribbon, title, or accomplishment ever could.
Begging forgiveness
I got angry at my horse a few days ago.
It felt like he was out to ruin my day,
Even though I know there is no such thing as a naughty horse,
I assigned that label to him
I pulled harder at the reins when he wasn't responsive,
My legs became too loud
I shouted at him, and called him names.
Luckily, there was no bit at the end of the reins,
There were no spurs on my feet,
And no whip in my hands.
When I got my senses back
I knew I just hadn't put in enough time with him
I had expected too much from him
He wasnt planning on ruining my day, but I am pretty sure I ruined his.
So..
I begged forgiveness, and I got it
We don't always meet our horses with the best version of ourselves
If someone had filmed this and shared
The video, I wouldn't have been canceled
In fact, most in the industry would see it as
'Soft'
But I knew it wasn't what my horse deserved
And his eyes told me he didn't recognize
THIS rider as a partner.
I begged forgiveness and I got it
On his next ride I paid extra attention to staying connected
To myself, and to him
Acknowledging our mistakes is far more productive than fooling ourselves that we are perfect.
