Black Bears on Bath Salts

11/26/2021

Hey pals! Ever wanted to feel like the Queen? Then own your own swan! Guaranteed to f**k up some ducklings’ worldviews. This cygnet did not make it on the farm, but it can squawk forever in your heart. Comes with US Fish & Wildlife paperwork making this legal to own. Will come mounted to a base; on Black Friday sale today for $225 shipped within the US. Please DM me to purchase!

November 2021 update: Black Bears on Bath Salts has returned! As many longtime customers may know, the shop was on hiatus since the start of the pandemic –– I have two small children who were home for much of last year (remote learning gang check in) as well as a full time job as a librarian, and the store had to take a backseat to the needs of my family. However, with vaccinations increasing and cases declining in our area, we are very happy to reopen our online doors. We appreciate the dedication of our longtime customers, and the forbearance of those who struggled to reach us during our absence. You will see a steady stream of new specimens (my freezer is FULL) and artifacts in the coming days!

07/04/2019

If you were considering spending money at my shop today, consider instead giving money to RAICES (raicestexas.org) or the Asylum Seeker Advocacy Project (asylumadvocacy.org), which provide legal aid for victims of the camps, or the ACLU (aclu.org), which is fighting against ICE and CBP abuse. Or just buy a milkshake and pour it on a f**king fascist.

07/04/2019

This is a piebald deer fawn! A genetic mutation affecting less than 1% of the population and causing the stunted head shape and malformed antlers, piebalds have white patches across their bodies. This one has lovely symmetry of markings, which is not particularly common among piebalds. It died of a respiratory illness on a farm in Wisconsin. $195 shipped US.

04/18/2019

Want to see my bush baby? 😬
This dude, when finished, will be a part of my installation at the Hello Neighbor! exhibition at the Garrison Art Center in Garrison, NY for the month of June, and will be available for sale afterward. And yes, I’m almost back from paternity leave and the shop will reopen next week! Get your wallets ready to exchange currency for humorous dead animals, because late stage capitalism is a bleak and desolate place.

12/05/2018

Just a heads up that because of today’s preposterous “day of mourning,” the post office is closed and orders will ship one day later than expected. HOWEVER, let’s have an actual day of mourning for the thousands of AIDS victims who died because of GHWB’s calculated indifference. Use coupon code BADRUBBISH today for 15% off, and I’ll donate a portion of sales to the Trevor Project.

Also, a reminder that I am CLOSING FOR THE YEAR ON DECEMBER 12TH, and that is my last shipping day until January. If you want Christmas gifts, grab em now!

11/23/2018

Yes, true believers! The Black Friday on Bath Salts sale at Black Bears on Bath Salts is back! Head on over to blackbearsonbathsalts.com and give me money in exchange for dead animals — now with AXOLOTLS!

Also, please read this, loyal patrons, because my holiday dates are DIFFERENT THIS YEAR. For guaranteed delivery by Christmas, you must order before DECEMBER 12TH. After that, my shop will be CLOSED until after Christmas because of a FUN SURPRISE. Check on Facebook and Instagram for more about that, and about the influx of new creepers before our hiatus!

06/19/2018

Hello friends! Just a reminder that I am away on vacation (a vacation! a real one!) with my family until July 25th. As such, orders won't ship until I return and messages won't be answered. Is that okay with you? Well, good, because all orders placed during that period will get 10% off your entire order! Starting soon, Etsy is raising its fee structure and my regular prices will have to increase accordingly, so this is a good chance to get the dead animals you've always wanted at the lowest price they'll be for a long while. @ Natural History Museum Of Ireland

05/24/2018

I was interviewed for this beautiful article about buttfaces.

The a**s is where you make it or break it.

12/16/2017

Cutoff date for guaranteed delivery by Christmas is December 17th!! Order this weekend and leave a dead pig under the tree for people you love. Also, for the next two days, use coupon code F**kAjitPai for 10% off your order!

12/14/2017

From now through Sunday, use coupon code F**kAjitPai for 10% off your order, because while everything is garbage and this administration is a pus-oozing herpes sore on the world, dead animals will make you feel happy. Also! All domestic orders placed through 12/18 are guaranteed for delivery by Christmas.

In a 3-2 vote today, the Federal Communications Commission approved a measure to remove the tough net neutrality rules it put in place just two years ago.

11/25/2017

Here comes baby cottontail
Hoppin down the fatal trail
Hippity hoppity, death is on its way!

Here comes baby cottontail Hoppin down the fatal trail Hippity hoppin, death is on its way Actually this is a domestic rabbit that died on a farm, not a cottontail. But the song is still good, I think! Award-winning lyrics. Anyway, this is a very fluffy brown and white baby

11/24/2017

Shocking development! The rumors are true!