30/05/2026
Sunday Musings: They've Got To Be Behind You To Be Kicking You
"They've got to be behind you to be kicking you." - It's a saying I've heard many times over the years, and the older I get, the more I think there might be something in it.
The people who seem to attract the most criticism are often the people doing something.
The rider winning championships. The trainer producing results. The business owner building something successful. The breeder whose horses keep performing. The author whose books are being read. The person putting themselves out there and taking risks.
But for every success story, there seems to be a group of people ready to explain why it wasn't really deserved. "They were lucky." "They had help." "They're overrated."
"I know what they're really like." "I could do that too if I had what they have."
Social media has amplified this tenfold. What fascinates me is that when you spend time around genuinely successful people, you often see something quite different.
You see respect. You see admiration. You see friendly rivalry. You see people who understand what it actually took to get there. And that's because once you've walked a difficult road yourself, you develop an appreciation for how hard the journey really is.
One thing I've learned is that until you've walked in somebody else's shoes, you have absolutely no idea what it took for them to get where they are. You don't see the failures not the sacrifices. You don't see the sleepless nights. You don't see the setbacks, self-doubt, disappointments, mistakes, risks, or personal struggles. You only see the result.
And perhaps that's where we get ourselves into trouble. We see someone's success and assume the journey was easy. Or we assume they somehow escaped the struggles the rest of us face.
But nobody gets a free pass through life. The champion athlete still has fears. The successful person still has worries. The successful business owner still has challenges.
The public figure still experiences loneliness.
The person who appears to have everything still has something that keeps them awake at night. No one escapes the human condition.
Life has a remarkable way of balancing the scales. Success in one area doesn't guarantee peace in another, and perhaps that's why kindness is usually the safest option - not because everybody deserves praise... but because everybody is carrying something we know nothing about.
The uncomfortable truth is that I think most of us have a little bit of Tall Poppy Syndrome lurking somewhere inside us. I know I do. There are moments when somebody else's success feels like a bitter pill to swallow. Moments when that little shadow voice quietly asks, "Why them?", "Why not me?"
It's not something I'm proud of. But recognising it is probably healthier than pretending it doesn't exist.
Somebody else's success doesn't take anything away from us. Their championship doesn't diminish our achievements. Their recognition doesn't lessen our contribution.
Their flowers blooming doesn't stop ours from growing.
As an aside, tomorrow is King's Birthday, and another group of New Zealanders will be recognised for their contributions to our country.
My own mother was appointed a Member of the New Zealand Order of Merit during Queen Elizabeth II's reign, and I remember how proud our family was when she received that honour. It was a huge moment for us. But looking back, I'm sure there were people somewhere questioning it, criticising it, or wondering why somebody else hadn't been chosen instead.
Perhaps that's just human nature. We are very funny creatures indeed. We can be genuinely delighted for someone while simultaneously wondering whether they deserved it.
Maybe that's another reminder that recognition isn't a finite resource. Someone else's achievement doesn't diminish our own. Someone else's flowers blooming doesn't stop ours from growing.
Maybe one of the greatest signs of maturity is learning to genuinely celebrate another person's success, even while we're still chasing our own goals.
Because at the end of the day, if somebody is kicking you, there's a fair chance they're behind you.
And if they're ahead of you?
They're usually too busy running their own race.
