Zoe the Sassy Jack Russell

25/08/2025

Breaking news!!

Boss of Fintry Bay Millport spotted refusing to work Mondays.

Cumbrae Canines fully support her decision. 😂

13/08/2025

Hi HR,

Zoe here, filing on behalf of Marilyn and Charlie.
Today, Uncle Craig threatened to “take us out on his boat” and, quote, “only he’s coming back.”

We believe this counts as:
A nautical death threat
Gross misconduct
Rude.

We demand snacks, an apology, and confirmation all boat trips are round trips.

If we vanish, check the boat first.

Regards,
Zoe

12/08/2025

10/08/2025

Clear the runway, Her Majesty returns tonight.
Piper’s packing her bags after her little ‘honeymoon visit,’ which means Auntie Amanda and Uncle Craig can finally give me their undivided attention again.

I demand parades, grovelling, and a buffet of treats worthy of my greatness. You’ve been living in the Dark Ages without me… prepare yourselves.

The Zoe Era is back, peasants. 💁‍♀️👑

26/07/2025

26/07/2025

Zoe here. Self declared Millport Watchdog.

This week, I’ve been lumped with some extra responsibility, training my cousin from the mainland. He’s Mummy’s second favourite daughter’s dog. (Which obviously makes me the favourite. Do keep up.)

I’m showing him the ropes, how to bark at cyclists, throw shade at seagulls, and stare at pensioners until they drop crumbs.

He’s trying. Bit soft. Bit… “please” and “thank you.” Mainland manners.

But we’ll toughen him up. Millport style 💁‍♀️

20/07/2025

So apparently Uncle Craig can just schedule HR meetings now without my legal rep (Auntie Amanda) present??

I turned up with a full PowerPoint presentation, several strongly worded complaints, and a very serious face. He listened, nodded, and then bribed me with belly rubs and told me I was a “good girl.”

Reader, I folded. 🤦🏼‍♀️
I may be easily distracted by affection. Sue me.

Auntie Amanda is furious and says this is a clear breach of protocol. She’s threatening to escalate to the highest authority.

Meanwhile I’ve had to cancel my whole week. I’m no doubt going to be fully booked with follow up Cumbraecanines HR meetings 🙄🙄

20/07/2025

Right. So Auntie Amanda and I were excited to start this new Netflix trilogy, something with Andrew Garfield, murder, moustaches, all very dramatic. Auntie says it’s based in the 1980’s, when she was wee, which is ancient history, apparently. I think she must be very old, bless her.

We got all snuggled in, snacks sorted. Ten minutes in, TEN, Uncle Craig starts snoring like a tractor stuck in reverse.

So I stood up, stretched, looked him dead in the eye and said,
“Come on pal, let’s just call it what it is, it’s nap o’clock.”

Dragged him off the couch myself. Honestly. We’ll try again later… if he’s earned the right.

20/07/2025

19/07/2025

17/07/2025

Why do you humans always choose the hard way to learn? Punishing you by leaving with our Aunty hurts us more than it hurts you. Remember that 💁‍♀️😁

Tried to have a serious meeting today at Fintry Bay Millport , but honestly? The staff are doing my head in. 🤨🙄

Mum and Dad, or “Connie & James” as they like to be called at work, have been micromanaging everything, treat schedule, walk routes, my preferred sunbathing spots… and I’ve had ENOUGH.

So I staged a walkout. Literally.
Aunty Amanda and I blew that joint! 😁

Marched us clean up and over the Fintry hills to clear my head and remind everyone who’s actually in charge around here. (Spoiler, it’s me.)

They’ll be begging me to come back tomorrow 🥰

Bonnie, Managing Director of Absolutely Everything
PS. I love them really. But they are a bit much.