03/08/2025
🐾 I thought I owned a cat… turns out I’m just staff."
😹 So my cat — let’s call her Princess Tuna — has developed a new hobby: waking me up at 3:14 a.m. exactly. Not 3:00. Not 3:15. 3:14.
Why?
Because the kitchen fridge light turns on and she “needs” to patrol it. Apparently, she's on night shift now.
The other night, she walked across my face, knocked my phone off the table, and meowed like she was summoning the spirits. I get up (because I’m weak), open the fridge, and she just… stares.
Nothing. No snack. No bite. Just vibes.
Then she walked away like:
"Good. The cold box still works. You may return to bed, peasant."
She has no job, no bills, eats rent-free — and yet I’m the one being emotionally manipulated by a 7-pound drama queen in fur pants.
