25/08/2020
Way down on the farm we are right up to date,
Farm mechanization's the byword of late.
For every task, there's a gadget to match..
But our new muck-spreader's the best of the batch!
Fling it here! Fling it there!
If you're standing by then you'll all get your share!
Now young Walter Hodgkins, he brought back a load,
Of liquid manure from the farm up the road.
He hummed to himself as he drove up the street,
And his load also hummed..
In the afternoon heat!
But the muck-spreader had a mechanical fault..
And a bump in the road turned in on with a jolt!
An odorous spray of manure it let fly..
Without fear or favor on all who passed by!
The cats and the dogs stank to high kingdom come!
And the kiddies, all browned off, ran home screaming to Mum!
The trail of sheer havoc were terrible grim..
One open car's windows filled up to the brim!
The spinster Miss Pringle, was quite scandalised..
"Good Gracious", she cried, "I've been fertilised!"
And the Methodist minister's tee-total wife..
Was plastered for the very first time in her life!
The vicarage windows were all open wide,
When a generous helping descended inside!
The vicar, at table, intoned "Let us all pray"
As manure from heaven came flying his way!
Now all of this time Walter trundled along..
And was quite unaware there was anything wrong!
Till a vision of woe flagged him down - what a sight!
A policeman all covered in . . . Yes, you've got it right!
All credit to the folk group The Yetties! π©