Affinity Dog Behaviour Therapy & Training

20/05/2026

Your dog doesn’t understand what you’re saying, but they do understand tone...

If we are demanding, ‘assertive’, or angry, they feel threatened, worried, UNSAFE.

If we are too loud, brash and enthusiastic with our talk and movement they feel overwhelmed, confused or concerned, and again potentially UNSAFE.

When we smile and speak softly but faster with an intonation that goes up at the end, we can instil excitement and arouse play, they feel SAFE.

If we are soft, slow, reassuring and loving they absolutely get it. No matter what garbled words we use they feel reassured, cared for and SAFE. We dont talk like this with our dogs anything like enough in general.

Our dog’s perception of their own safety is dynamic and extremely fragile. Every time we cause them to feel unsafe, its probable cause to doubt our intentions towards them. Our conduct at home can massively contribute to stranger reactivity. If they cant trust and feel safe with family, how can we expect them to feel safe around strangers?

Households where the guardians regularly bicker or argue creates an environment where they feel UNSAFE. If we add screaming, fast moving kids, together, it’s a recipe for chronic stress as they feel unsafe every day.

Anxious dogs can only ever recover in homes where they are never made to feel unsafe by their guardians. Eliminating the insecurity and unpredictability is the ONLY way. Consistent kindness is imperative.

We have the power to change our ways for the sake of the dog’s welfare, leading to less behaviour issues and an easier life yet so many wont because changing ourselves is considered ‘too hard’… and yet… we still expect our dogs to change 🤔 “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction” Its not just physics, it applies to how we are treated too. Treat others as we would expect to be treated ourselves.

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20/05/2026

How to use the long line... It should unravel from one hand. Create big loops that layer on top of each other when recoiling. 😊

19/05/2026

Tell tale signs you’ve been rolling around and rough housing with a Husky 😂.

18/05/2026

Trained cues (formerly known as commands 😜) are the key to an easy life with our dogs, but more importantly, it’s a necessity for their safety.

If we didnt teach our kids language, relied on tethers to stop them wandering too far/maintain control over them, and occasionally felt guilty about their lack of freedom leading us to unclip the tether to give them some freedom to run but then had no way of actually communicating with them to encourage them back or to keep them out of trouble, we’d have to question our intelligence or sanity. So many guardians do this with their dogs relying on anger to instil enough fear that the dog freezes long enough to be caught again, which is a downward spiral to even less influence over them long term as they opt not to return to the scary human.

I will not let Benny off in public because his safety is the priority, and I don’t have an ego problem/something to prove. His recall is 100%, even around prey, BUT, his fears will always override any training when he experiences a full blown nervous system response that compels him to run towards home if he hears a scary sound thats loud enough.

He’s recently tweaked his left paw/carpal and whilst he’s not generally lame, its just the odd ouchy step, but for it to heal, I need to avoid him doing silly things for a while. The garden is where he does have full freedom and a couple of occasions over the last few days, we’ve managed to avoid making things worse because the moment he starts fully opening up I recall him, and ask him to heel with me back into the house.

It works every time because he has a history of being highly rewarded for it many times in the past. The human training side however is remembering when we start to panic/worry about the dogs safety, is to give calm, friendly instructions as rehearsed in training instead of defaulting to the normal reaction of getting angry/trying to simply stop the behaviour instantly by shouting or trying to physically catch/stop them.

A history of our gentle, friendly voice will always have considerably more power than a panicked, physical response. Its just learning how to stay cool in the moment that takes practice. 😜

17/05/2026

17/05/2026

He’s my emotional support dog 😜😂. Such a legend 😍.

16/05/2026

When I leave for work, I have to close the curtains so he doesn’t spend the entire time getting frustrated, working himself up and potentially hurting himself when the squirrel makes an appearance.

Today we were in a position to work on it..

In the space of 15 mins, he went from going nuts 😜 out the window at the squirrel to automatically disengaging and coming to me instead, through the power of positive reinforcement and squirty cheese. 😜

He’s learning he can ‘hunt’ with his eyes instead and get good things that release positive chemistry instead of getting frustrated which causes negative feelings.

16/05/2026

You know that feeling when your brain is fried and you just need a panad (cuppa) break to decompress and reset? Our dogs experience this too…

The reason we get to this point maybe 2, 3 or more times in a working day is due to trigger stacking. (The accumulation of having to adapt to demands placed upon us that tires our brain)

The human brain can only work at optimal/full on capacity for 90 minutes straight. It then needs a rest to allow the stress system to somewhat reset so that cortisol doesn’t continue to increase which eventually causes us to make mistakes or lash out because we are ‘at the end of our tether’.

Mature dogs can only concentrate at optimal capacity for a fraction of what we can, (adolescent dogs can maybe manage 5 mins at a time) and dogs become trigger stacked so much faster than us because they don’t understand the world like we do, its much more stressful for them.

For some dogs it might take only three things to get to the point where they need a ‘panad break’. Others may cope with 20 things. Benny for example on a walk likely experiences discomfort from his chronic ailments, is anxious about potential sounds, and all it takes is a group of people walking by to put him in a place where he needs a break and a panad (treats) to reduce the cortisol surge enough to reset a bit and carry on.

The fact he can only handle three things on some days is despite the fact he can achieve full relaxation (homeostasis/no stress) at home. Most dogs find life at home stressful before they even go for a walk, so they’re trigger stacked before the walk begins. This is a big cause of ‘reactivity’. Its like coming home from a really hard day at work desperate for a quiet night, to find a couple of neighbours (that aren’t really our kind of people) have invited themselves round, and we feel compelled to entertain…

The difference is however, dogs don’t have the ability to pretend to be nice when they feel tired, uncomfortable or irritated (stressed). They wear their hearts on their sleeves, have no ‘brain-mouth’ filter and behaviour is how they communicate.

A dog with allergies or chronic pain, who barks regularly at things outside, lives in a busy household, lacks enrichment, attention or understanding is often trigger stacked before even going for a walk. They’ll need MANY panad breaks on a walk and even sleep breaks throughout the day to decompress enough to enjoy the walk and not leave the house feeling like they’re already coming home from a really hard day at work.

Learning how many things it takes before our dogs begin to struggle is how we determine how small their world needs to be that day. We can help them cope by ensuring they get those tea breaks and recognising when they just need a day off. Some dogs need days off from a walk depending on whats happened over the last few days, some chronically stressed dogs need weeks off.

Even a change in routine, such as moving house, a change in work shifts, going on holiday or leaving more/having to visit someone in hospital for a few weeks for example can cause them a great deal of stress, and they’ll need time to adapt and decompress before returning to ‘normal’.

If our dogs goof off more, struggle to listen more than usual, can’t settle, become more vocal, do strange things or anything out of character, chew more or pick up many/more things they shouldn’t on a walk, its time to give them a break.

15/05/2026

Meet Geezer. His guardian contacted me because his strong pulling on the lead made walks very stressful and even scary at times.

Being a Neapolitan Mastiff, they have a reputation for being ‘stubborn’ or difficult to train. This is our third session. No ‘equipment’ needed, and not one lead pop or correction, just the right length lead, and teaching him that it’s his responsibility to keep it loose and build more engagement through positive reinforcement.

All we need is the right motivation and timing with our skills. A big thanks to Del for allowing me to use the footage.

14/05/2026

New car finally sign written. 😁