Emily Bridges Coaching

01/01/2026

Here's wishing you a wonderful 2026, full of whatever makes you smile. Read on for New Year's musings...

I was single for a long time. Sometimes I was fine with it but often I was not and I focused on everything I didn't have that seemingly everyone around me did. Someone to come home to, someone to reliably go on holiday with, someone to look after me when I was ill, the list goes on. Doing this could make me really sad, catastrophising that I would feel like this forever but towards the end of this time something flipped (with a bit of work) and I started to realise how much I also enjoyed all the freedoms I had. I could watch whatever I wanted, go wherever I wanted, sit and eat pizza in bed after a long day at work with nobody judging! I could be spontaneous because there was no one else relying on my plans.

Now, in a relationship and looking back on this time, I realise there was so much more I had too. I had so much time to prioritise friendships without feeling torn. I renovated an entire house because I didn't then feel guilty that was eating into 'quality time' with anyone. If I couldn't sleep I could lie in bed with the light on and read, if I woke up early I could clean the house at 5am then have a mid morning nap. There are so many silly things I was lucky to have in this time and I wish I had seen that sooner and spared myself more of the days feeling sorry for myself. I'm really happy now too but looking back I can see I really did have so much fun!

But this is not actually aimed as a message to anyone single out there, though if it resonates with anyone, I do hope it helps. It's more that it's taught me a valuable lesson. One in theory we hear all the time; 'seize the day' 'yolo' 'live in the present' etc etc.

Reading a phrase is one thing, making it really mean something to you to is different. For me, words along the lines of 'enjoy what you have' resonate most and I can link them up with experiences and feelings I've had and use that to remind myself how I want to experience this year. Again I find myself feeling like I'm looking ahead at different possible paths and wishing I was a bit further along them. But now I have the reminder to stop and enjoy where I am right now, because I know that down those paths there aren't all the wonderful experiences of right now. There may be beautiful sunshine in one direction but what about the smell of the pines just where I'm standing.

Feeling this way doesn't stop me planning ahead or working towards a future but rather than spending this New Year's wishing and hoping for all the things I don't have, I'm going to start planning a year of amazing things I can do right now, just as I am! Of course, it won't all be good, I sense challenges ahead, but all the more reason to fill the moments in between with as much joy as possible.

19/11/2025

Who's going to tell poor Pablo that Friday won't be a work (cuddle) from home day as I'll be at London Vet Show?

I'm looking forward to catching up with so many people and hopefully meeting some new faces so do come and say hi!

14/11/2025

What's in your graveyard?

I recently went to visit the Ben & Jerry's factory (yes you get free ice-cream!) and one of the areas they really promote is their Flavour Graveyard, honouring all the versions of their ice-cream that are no longer manufactured. Some lasted for years before falling out of favour, some were a flop right from the off!

What really stayed with me was the sentiment behind it. The celebration of their failures. The pride with which they put them on show. We're always told it isn't failure, it's an opportunity to learn and do better next time, but that doesn’t mean it's easier in the moment, Seeing their approach made me think, what does that kind of openness actually do?

💡 It's a reminder that we tend to look at successful people and just see the success. We compare ourselves to the highlight reel, forgetting all the setbacks and wrong turns that came before. It's not fair to compare yourself to someone’s success without acknowledging their graveyard too.

💡 And then, what's the power of your own graveyard? For Ben & Jerry’s, it fills an unremarkable patch of their car park, yet it draws people in. It gets visitors talking about the flavours they would like to see, providing them with invaluable feedback for future developments. It also builds an impression of a determined business who overcome adversity in order to succeed. If you put your graveyard on show, what would people notice?

17/09/2025

What SHOULD you be doing?

This little floof came home as a foster but has cuted his way into being a permanent resident. His favourite things to do? Chase feathers, or go to sleep as physically close to your face as he can get. Neither are particularly conducive to work! And so I've been spending more time pinned to a chair, because who wakes a sleeping kitten?

Perhaps you can relate to how this made me feel....guilty.
That I should be doing more.
That I should be making the most of my time off.
That I should be sat at my laptop.
That I should be exercising.
That I should be cleaning the house.

But then I caught myself doing the exact thing I would challenge my clients on. Who says I should? Absolutely no one is telling me how they expect me to spend my day off, it's all me, setting expectations for myself that only lead to frustration.

And actually, I want to be enjoying time with the snuggliest of kittens before he grows up too much. So I reframed.

I want to spend precious time with the floof and I give myself permission to do that.
I do want to clean the house because I have a friend coming to stay, so I'll make sure I do that later.
I really do not want to go to the gym in the rain but I do want to stay fit and so I'll compromise, a home yoga session this evening feels achievable.

A simple reframe from what I should be doing to what I want to be doing and I feel so much more relaxed, the guilt is gone and I can enjoy relaxing as well as getting some things done.

What are you telling yourself you should be doing/feeling/being and how is that working out for you?

* I do want a cup of tea though, if anyone can reach the kettle...

** Yoga with a kitten, yeah I didn't think that through

03/09/2025

❓ Are you really stuck?

I've spoken to lots of people who have said things like

'I want to change job but I can't right now'
'I hate it but I can't afford to change'
'Nowhere else would have me until I have more experience'

In other words, they feel stuck. Stuck where they are. Stuck doing what they are doing.

Notice how I'm saying that. They FEEL stuck. It's not the same as being stuck.

Imagine you're in a maze. You can feel totally stuck at a dead end one minute, without realising you're moments from the exit the next. Looking from above, everyone else would be able to see you've got ways to get out.

The difference between being stuck and feeling stuck starts with looking at things from a different perspective.

🚶‍♀️ Let's walk in front and look back...

What would happen if you knew someone would employ you just as you are?

What would happen if you knew you could financially afford the change?

Going back to last week's question, what would happen if you don't make the change?

🚶‍♀️‍➡️ Let's walk behind and look forward...

Can you think of a time you felt stuck before? What did you do?

🧍 And looking from the side...

What are all the options you have, however wildcard they feel initially?

What would you say to a friend in your situation?

❓ So ask yourself, are you really stuck?

And if you want someone to help you look at your situation from a different perspective, drop me a message, I'd love to chat!

27/08/2025

This is for those of you worrying about taking an action. Maybe it's worrying about leaving your job, having a difficult conversation with your boss or asking for a pay rise.

I'd bet that you're asking yourself 'What if?'...

'What if I don't like the new job?'

'What if our relationship is never the same after that conversation?'

'What if they say no?'

But have you stopped to consider

❓'What if I don't'❓

How will it be for you if you don't leave your job?

How will your relationship be if you don't have this conversation?

How will you feel if you don't ask for a pay rise?

Don't just go with your first knee-jerk response, it may well be that everything is better because there's no difficult conversation!

Ask yourself how things will be in a month, in 3 months, in a year?

Are you hesitant because it's not the right action to take or because it's an uncomfortable action that gets you where you want to go?

I'd love to know if this resonates, do you ask yourself ❓What if I don't?

20/08/2025

Who are you when you're on holiday?

Unintentionally I've taken a little two-week break from posting on social media. I noticed a few days in, momentarily felt guilty for breaking my weekly system, and then let go because having far too nice a time to worry about that!

But now I'm back it's got me reflecting on holiday-me vs normal-me.

Holiday-me
✴️ Really enjoys the moment and finds it easier to forget background worries
✴️Is playful (think sandcastles)
✴️ Doesn't feel guilty for doing absolutely nothing
✴️ Says 'why not' all the time, to having the ice cream or exploring the new path or going out to look at the stars

Normal-me can often be 'too busy' to be playful or do nothing at all, with too much other admin to fill that time. Normal-me is always thinking about what's coming next and what else I need to be doing not just the here and now. Normal-me doesn't always have time to do the 'why nots'.

Sounds like normal-me had quite a lot to learn from holiday-me, eh?

So what's holiday-you and what can you learn from them?

17/07/2025

The power of 7 Whys...

Of course you can ask yourself this about anything in life but here's an example:

❓ Why do you do the job you do now?

Once you have your answer, I then want you to question your answer.

❓Why

And again

❓Why

You get the idea. Basically you're a two year old on a particularly inquisitive morning.

❓Why
❓Why
❓Why
❓Why

In total ask yourself Why 7 times and then reflect on what you've learned. You'd be surprised how deep it gets!

15/07/2025

Anyone up for some cricket?

The other week we went to see Tim Minchin on tour.

I've seen him play and speak a few times and always find him insightful. He gave us some hopeful, optimistic views around AI and the arts, thoughts on conflict and a reminder to take your canvas bags to the supermarket.

Aside from coming home and listening to Groundhog Day on repeat (if you ever get chance to see it, go!) I was reminded of his speech on 9 Life Lessons which is well worth checking out. I could write posts about all of them but one that really resonates is Number 5:

"We must think critically, and not just about the ideas of others. Be hard on your beliefs. Take them out onto the verandah and beat them with a cricket bat."

We are often so quick to pass judgement on the views of others, how often do we analyse our own beliefs with as much vigor? We'll happily say that Janet next door clearly ought to believe more in the environment and start recycling but we aren't as likely to say "I probably ought to believe more in my own abilities and advocate for myself."

In coaching we gently challenge beliefs a lot, but maybe I'm going to start handing people a cricket bat....anyone up for it?!

Tim Minchin, the former UWA Arts student described as "sublimely talented, witty, smart and unabashedly offensive" in a musical career that has taken the wor...

09/07/2025

I've done 1-2-1s with so many colleagues who visibly recoil when it comes to positive feedback and seen numerous clients struggle with discussing their own strengths. Now it's my turn to remind myself how that kind of uncomfortable feels and share some nice words a recent client left me.

25/06/2025

❓What do you want❓

This week I've been supporting a colleague with a client's complaint. They are a part of the job and, most of the time, when you can really understand what that person's experience of the situation was, what they are feeling now and what their expectations are for the resolution, you can respond and get things settled.

However, on this occasion we have absolutely no idea what the client wants us to do. In fact, my colleague has tried suggesting a few things we could offer. One made no difference and the other actually made the situation worse. So it continues...we go around in circles..."I'm unhappy"... "We hear you're unhappy, what can we do?"..."I'm unhappy"....

Even if you don't deal with complaints you've probably felt the frustration that comes with going round in these circles too. Friends that aren't keen on any of your restaurant suggestions but don't tell you what food they DO like. Colleagues who say 'that's just not quite what I was looking for' when you present each idea but they don't give you anything else. Even the cat who constantly meows for food then looks at you like you've tried to poison him when you put down yesterday's favourite. All of them leave you wanting to shout
WHAT DO YOU WANT?

💭 Now pause. Have you checked in recently on what it is YOU want?
💭 Double pause. Have you slipped into saying what you DON'T want, that helps, but it's not the same!

When you're voicing your own complaint to life, telling it how you're really feeling, maybe how fed up you are, can you articulate what you want? Because it's going to be equally hard to make yourself happy if you aren't clear on what you're aiming for.

❓What do you want❓

If you need some dedicated headspace to get clear on what it is you do want, drop me a DM, I've got a couple of spaces for coaching clients right now and I want to work with you 😁

In the meantime, I'm curious, how have you got on when you don't know what someone wants??