17/06/2025
🎂A Birthday Tail🎂
Lord Wilbur S***zu and Pippy Long Stocking came to stay.
It was Wilburs birthday and he
was looking forward to a stiff whiskey, putting his paws up and discussing Gibbons, Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire and it's interesting parallels with the Fall of the Third Reich with Pippy Long Stocking.
Pippy, who'd led a rather more sheltered life on Mount Crescent said she'd much rather go clubbing and why don't they sneak out to Pawtons when Uncle Andy and Aunty Sue go to bed ? 😴
They could meet up with Punjab Pauline and Shangai Suzi, Wilburs friends from his RAF days in Singapore.🛩🪂🏝
Ava, who was having a beer down the shed with Uncle Andy said she wanted to go too.
Wilbur reluctantly agreed.
He doubted Pippy Long Stockings intellect stretched beyond Scooby Doo and Goofy anyway.
As soon as Uncle Andy and Aunty Sue were asleep Ava ordered a dog friendly taxi and off they went to the night club.
🍷🍾🍹Pawtons was rocking🍺🐕🐶
Dog Gossip the Lhasa dance group were on stage strutting their stuff to Boney M and Simply Fed and the dance floor was packed with gyrating Hounds.
The whine, snapps and John S***z Bitter were flowing.
Ava called Bubby Border Collie in Flamborough to see if he could meet up with them.
Buddy, who fancied Ava, quickly slipped a couple of zopiclone into his mum and dad's cuppas and sneaked out when they were snoring on the sofa.
Buddy donned his leathers revved up his Kawasaki Ninja and sped off to Pawtons.
🏍🐕
Meanwhile, Lord Wilbur S***zu wasn't in the best of moods.
Shangai Suzi and Punjab Pauline had apparently left earlier to go to a rave in Middlesbrough with Humphrey Daschund and Bertie Chihuahua.
Pippy Long Stocking was busy flirting with Barney Border Terrier who was, in turn, eyeing up Clemmy Patterdale.
It was Wilburs birthday and all he wanted was a quiet whiskey and a dog to chat to about his days in the RAF.
Wilbur closed his eyes and drifted off, reminiscing about his friend Dinky Bates and their gin soaked stories in the hanger at Biggin Hill.
Suddenly there was an almighty crash and all hell broke loose.
For a moment Wilbur was back at Pearl Harbor in his Spitfire, the reality however, was far worse.
Buddy Border Collie had turned up to discover Bulldog Bill, head of the Barnsley Branch of Hells Hounds sniffing Avas assets, and to make matters worse Ava was lapping it up.
This wasn't the kind of dog fight Lord Wibur was used to and he retreated under a table while chaos broke out around him.
Buddy and Bulldog Bill made short work of destroying Pawtons and each other.
By the time Rocky Rottweiler, Head of Humberside Police Dog Unit arrived with the T**T TEAM (Terriers with attitude) Pawtons had been razed to the ground.
Uncle Andy, who'd woken up to a call of nature at 4.00am, realised the dogs were missing and phoned Ava on her mobile.
Ava told Andy she was hiding in the bunker at Fraisthorpe where her, Lord Wilbur and Pippy Long Stocking had fled to escape the debacle at Pawtons and were downing the bottle of Vodka Pippy had slipped into her pawbag during the fight.
Andy, who couldn't get back to sleep, got some of his home brew and went to the beach to join them in the bunker.
Lord Wilburs wish had finally come true, he had liquor an audience and the perfect setting.
He settled down with a Vodka and happily told his tails of the War till the sun came up and he could slur no longer.
He didn't notice the others had fallen asleep long ago.......🌤
❤️Happy Birthday Lord Wilbur, may your tails continue for many years to come ❤️
