01/07/2025
Thanks to everyone who responded to the poll. These answers came up again and again — and they tell me a lot about what dog owners are really facing.
🙇♀️ Staying calm myself ⬇️
This isn’t about deep breathing and zen vibes. Staying calm means being in control of your own reactions so you can lead your dog through the moment.
If you panic, they escalate. If you steady yourself — even just enough to move them on — you change the tone. That’s leadership, not perfection.
👂Getting them to listen ⬇️
Reactivity shuts off thinking. Most reactive dogs aren’t disobedient — they’re in fight, flight or freeze.
You’re not dealing with a training issue in that moment. You’re dealing with a dog who’s struggling to stay functional and on task.
Solution - Interrupt early, work outside trigger zones, and give your dog a clear role to focus on. Leave, Come.
😮💨 Feeling judged by others
You’re probably doing 100 things right — but a single bark and suddenly you’re “that owner.”
Here’s the truth: most people have no clue what you’re dealing with. Their opinions don’t count anyway. Your consistency, effort and boundaries do.
🤔 Not knowing what to do in the moment
This is the one that brings most people to me. You can’t make good choices when your brain is in crisis.
This is where most people freeze — not because they’re clueless, but because reactivity throws everything into chaos.
Let’s strip it back.
Here’s what to focus on in the moment, when your dog is reacting or on the edge:
1️⃣ Create Space — Fast and Calm
Don’t faff. Don’t plead. Just move.
Get off the path. Cross the road. Step behind a car. You’re not avoiding — you’re managing load.
The more distance you give, the quicker their brain can come back online.
2️⃣ Use Your Body, Not Just Your Voice
Forget yelling their name — they can’t hear it.
Instead, step into their space calmly to block fixation, turn them away with your body, or walk a curve to change focus.
You’re giving direction, not asking for it.
3️⃣ End the Situation with Authority
Sometimes the best response is to leave. Not in defeat — but in leadership. No negotiations, no bribery. A calm “let’s go,” a firm lead turn, and walk off. Praise comes after they’ve disengaged, not during the chaos.
4️⃣ Don’t Add Noise
No cue stacking, no treat flinging, no verbal overload.
They don’t need 6 commands and a bag of sausage — they need clarity, space, and your leadership.
5️⃣ Reset After
Once you’re out of the situation, don’t drag it out.
No long debrief. No guilt spiral. Shake it off, give your dog a task (sniff. walk, settle cue), and move forward. Dogs don’t replay it unless we do.
This is the difference between “coping” and handling.
Reactivity happens because of the emotional response your dog is experiencing — not because you're failing as an owner, but because your dog doesn’t yet have the tools to cope with what’s in front of them.
If this feels new or overwhelming — that’s OK. It’s not about doing it perfectly right now. It’s about having a plan so next time, you’re not scrambling.