08/22/2026
🐾 SO YOU’RE GETTING INTO DOGS… WELL, BLESS YOUR HEART. 😂
Come on in, sugar. We’ve been expecting you. Go ahead and leave your money, free time and common sense at the door.
First thing you need to understand: you’re about to give up half your house and your entire life savings. The other half of the house will eventually go too—we just don’t want to scare you right off the bat.
And you better build some storage.
Because somehow 6 dogs require 30 crates, 60 bowls, 100 leashes, 47 collars, 14 grooming bags, 12 dog beds nobody sleeps in and one crate pan from 1997.
Can you throw that crate pan away?
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
It might fit something someday.
Before long, your living room is a kennel with a couch. Your dining room table is a grooming station. Your spare bedroom is a puppy nursery. And you haven’t eaten at your kitchen table since the Bush administration because that’s where the dog supplies live now.
Then there’s the garage.
Lord have mercy.
One day you’ll open that door and realize you’re one concerned neighbor away from appearing on Hoarders: Dog Show Edition.
Crates stacked to the ceiling. X-pens multiplying when nobody is looking. Grooming tables, dryers, chairs, coolers, totes and enough ribbons to decorate every pew at the First Baptist Church.
Your husband will eventually ask:
“Where am I supposed to park?”
Outside, Earl.
The dogs have a climate-controlled grooming area. Know your place. 😂
And let’s discuss finances.
You’ll stand in Walmart and say, “$5.98 for eggs?! Have these people lost their minds?”
Then drive straight to the pet store and spend $238 on dog food, shampoo and some supplement you can’t pronounce because somebody on Facebook said it makes coat grow.
The dogs eat premium food, fresh eggs, blueberries and supplements.
You’re eating a bologna sandwich over the sink.
Because we’re on a budget.
Then every six months you’ll make the big announcement:
“I’m cutting back on dogs and taking a break from showing.”
Your family won’t even look up anymore.
They’ve heard this lie before.
Three days later the premium list drops and you’re sitting there with a calculator figuring out whether the electric company really meant Friday.
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