03/30/2026
Part of raising horses, is to accept the fact that it can be an emotional roller coaster. We are often there when a new foal enters the world. We raise them, watch them grow, and do our best to help them learn to become âgood citizensâ, before sending them on, to their new person or families. To those who donât understand the bonds we form with each mare, foal, and stallion, they become our friends, and an extension of our family.
Yes, we sometimes get to help bring new life into the world. But, there will also come times in every breederâs lives, where we have to make the hard choices for the horses we love so dearly. When we take on the responsibility of being a horse owner, we take on responsibility not only for meeting that horseâs needs for life (or however long they stay with you), but also for meeting their needs, at the END of their life.
Often times, a ânatural deathâ is a slow, and cruel way for a horse to die. Very seldom, does a horse just lie down and âgo peacefullyâ in their sleep. Their will to live is too strong, and their ability to fight and hide weakness is too great. Itâs instinctual. And there are some injuries, or health challenges too great to overcome. In times like this, we are called on to make the hardest decision a horse owner ever has to make. And itâs a responsibility that we take extremely seriously. Our horses deserve that from us, always.
If age is the reason for goodbye, we will see it as a horse comes thru winter⌠she wonât hold weight as well as she used to, she may become slow and stiff due to arthritis. Or she may have struggled to maintain weight while raising a foal the summer previous. Her body and her quality of life will tell us when it is time, if we take the time to listen. If serious injury or health issues are the cause, we look at three things - can we save them, immediate suffering, and long term quality of life. When Eddie broke his leg, we didnât make him wait for an on call vet, who could be a couple hours away, elbows deep in a c-section. We couldnât save him. He was suffering. We went home, got the gun, and did the right thing. It was heartbreaking. But we did right by Eddie. đ
I said in my post yesterday, that it had been âa dayâ. And that it was. Yesterday was a busy day here. But it was also a bit of an emotional roller coaster. We welcomed two new foals⌠KCâs and Dreamboatâs⌠Chad and I were there for both births. But we also made the decision every horse owner dreads, but must accept - the decision to put quality of life ahead of what our hearts wanted, for the mare we called Fox⌠and we were both there for that too. đ
Fox had been broodmare sound only, for a number of years, due to injury as a saddle horse. Over the past winter, we had noticed her struggling more - but she had preg checked in the fall as being in foal, which we didnât expect, as she was definitely underweight at the time we weaned her foal. We had planned to baby her as an open mare for the winter, and make a decision for her this spring, prior to turn out, when we saw how she wintered. But, being in foal, that changed things a bit. She didnât just need âextraâ. She needed a LOT extra, if she was to carry the foal. So we wintered her with the weanlings, let her into the barn at night and kept it bedded for them as best as we could, blanketed her, fed her extra, babied the crap out of her, and even got her to like cookies.
However, thru the course of this week while I had KC and Dreamboat on foal watch, I noticed that Fox seemed to be much more sore than she had been, even last week. She spent a lot more time laying down, and the more I looked at her moving when she was up, I began to notice her movement was quite different than it had been. She was very short striding on her one hind leg. Shorter than before. She was slower. Stiffer. Looked much more painful. She started snarking at any horse that came near her, and then, on Friday evening, she very nearly bit me while I walked by⌠something completely out of character for her. She was hurting, and to watch her suffer wouldnât have been fair. I suspect that she likely slipped on the ice, and re-injured old issues⌠to see that much change in a matter of days seems like something happened - I suspect it was something like a bad slip or a fall. Goodness knows itâs icy enough.
In watching her this week, I found myself wondering about when her foaling dates should be, and how much longer she would have, to carry to term, if she remained this sore - in honesty, I donât think she was going to recover, in light of what I saw, and knowing the extent of her previous injuries. The way she moved made me think her pain was high up on the side that looked worse - something like a stifle, a pelvis/hip, or her back. I considered whether or not she could even handle carrying to term if she didnât improve. My gut said ânoâ. And then as I thought about it, I realized she should be quite visibly heavier in foal by now. She was not. I realized that in comparison to the other mares that are due when she was, she looked lean. Open. I began to question if she had lost the foal over winter. But, open or not, the more I looked at her, the more certain I became about what needed to be done. I voiced what I had been noticing about her to Chad, and he agreed⌠making her live like that just wouldnât be fair. It was a no brainer. We decided that evening - Friday - that even if she DID still happen to have a foal in there, we could not ask that of her - to suffer and struggle until June, just so we could have her foal. We didnât do another preg check to be sure she was open. It wouldnât have mattered. The decision was made, and she needed us to offer her that one last, and greatest act of love⌠the one that hurts us the most, but would set her free from her pain. We put her down early yesterday afternoon - after KC had foaled, and before we knew Dreamboat was going to have hers too.
I canât help but feel like itâs almost as though God knew it was gonna be a tough day around here, and figured we needed the extra âhappyâ, to help balance out the âsadâ. And I wonât lie, two brand new foals certainly did help the sting of saying goodbye to Fox⌠especially Dreamboatâs, arriving shortly after we laid Fox to rest.
Yes, we are sad and we will miss her. We grieve the goodbye, and the chance at a âFox fillyâ we had hoped so badly for this season, and will now, never get. But we know it was what she needed of us. Part of horse ownership, is accepting that responsibility - to do right by them, even when it breaks our hearts to do it.
Fly high and run free, Fox. You were such a good girl, and we love you. But we know you are free from your pain, and we are at peace knowing that even though it hurt our hearts to let you go, we absolutely did what you asked of us. Iâm sorry there wasnât something different we could have done, to help you. You DESERVED so much better, and sometimes life just isnât fair. đ
