08/06/2026
So many of you who are struggling with your dogs are shooting yourselves in the foot by what you’re doing more so than what you’re not doing. You want a calm, relaxed, well behaved dog, but you’re doing countless things which work directly against your goals.
So here’s a quick “Stop” list of the most common mistakes I see owners doing that they need to stop in order to make room for the good to start.
Let the outrage begin! 🤣
1/ Stop using food to train. Food creates arousal and excitement, and if a calm and relaxed dog is your training goal, that’s not the way.
2/ Stop the incessant use of “loaded”releases. This has become wildly common as sport dog work has creeped into pet dog training. The constant use of releases, like “Break!”, “Free!”, “Yes!” from commands to rewards to the next command create predictive sequences that imbue the entire sequence (from command to release) with anticipatory arousal.
3/ Stop using excitement when your goal is calmness. This should be an obvious one to avoid, but it’s one of the most common and undermining mistakes owners make. Excited owners who want their dogs to be “happy” drown their dogs in arousal-inducing excitement via verbal tone and body language. This will never create a calm and relaxed dog.
4/ Stop prioritizing constant motion and doing. So many owners assume that for dog training to occur, the dog must be active, doing, performing — when in reality the greatest and most challenging skill most dogs could acquire is the ability to be still, calm, relaxed, and doing absolutely nothing.
5/ Stop constantly talking to your dog. Constant verbal input will keep your dog constantly stimulated and aroused. Instead, talk far less and watch your dog finally relax.
6/ Stop constantly petting your dog. Constant touch is usually riding shotgun to the constant talker, and creates the same outcome. Stop the constant touching and watch your dog finally relax.
7/ Stop constantly trying to occupy your dog with games, toys, activities. This has become quite the unhealthy fad. Under the guise of “enrichment” (and selfish pleasure) we find owners drowning their dogs in puzzles, toys, and activities to mentally “stimulate” and “fulfill” them. This constant game of “Let’s stimulate our dogs” does just that, and never teaches your dog how to actually be calm and relaxed.
8/ Stop avoiding corrections that are necessary because they feel bad. I get it. We all hate having to discipline our dogs, but when they’re being pushy, impolite, demanding, overly-aroused, or just plain jerks, withholding negative consequences which will stop the unwanted behavior not only robs your dog of vital information about how to properly behave, it also ensures your dog never has access to a calm, relaxed, peace-filled mindset where they can be their best selves.
9/ (Bonus) Stop trying to out-exercise your hyper, manic, bouncing of the walls dog who actually needs to learn how to be still, relaxed, calm, well-behaved, and have an “Off-Switch”. This all too common approach simply creates an athlete who requires more and more exercise in order to temporarily be calm and relaxed — but teaches none of the actual calming skills or manners dogs need.
PS, Yes, all of the above are terribly typical mistakes owners make. Yes, I’ve made this black and white to make a point. Yes, there’s nuance and exceptions, yes there’s a smart and healthy balance that can be applied, and yes there’s a time and place for most if not all of the above — depending on context and goals. The point of this post is precisely the lack of nuance and smart, strategic application of all of the above. Pet owners almost always want a more calm, relaxed, well-behaved dog — not the opposite — and so if they were to stop doing all of the above, they’d be far closer to achieving their goals.
