22/01/2026
Hello humans and Fur friends... I've now been with my humans and furry dog species for a week.... I'm loving my humans bedroom... I've got a cozy bed alongside my humans at night... Where I can crawl all over my human Dad while mum plays with me, until I tire her out... I know when I tire her out, she becomes boring... ... ... I even have my own ensuite.... My fur mum cleans it out for me constantly.... She says "she doesn't want me stinking her room up... Or getting my fur coat messy"... I have this thing they call a harness.... Mum is constantly putting it on me... She's hoping I learn this behavior... I'm unsure about it yet... I'm unclear if I want to remain someone's captive.... Maybe someone should tell her that's usually our job. She says "it's to teach me to like it... because she wants to take me on adventures"... What does that Even mean?
Mum and Dad have taken me for a drive with this harness thing.... I love the truck... I can fall asleep in it.... But Mum took me out of my carrier... We we're sitting outside a tiny shop, waiting for dad at a bus stop in a quiet country town... A few strange humans walked up to me.... They look weird, they smell weird and they're not my Mum... I don't like it and would rather crawl back into my box thank you very much!!... So I did .........I am unsure sometimes but I'm positive my human is trying to unalive me.... Today she was holding me in her arms and we were standing at something they call a fish tank... She proceeded to get these tiny balls out of a shiny strange thing that smelled like cat food... Meanwhile, I was staring at this weird thing with googally eyes moving around in something that id take a bath in.... All of a sudden a mountain of cat food rolled into the bath, and this thing tried to eat me .... Really... it's true....." I swear".... This thing is the same size as me and it's mouth opened and it was going to swallow me whole...." It was UGLY".. "MUM... YOU TRYING TO FKING UNALIVE ME ARENT YOU ???; .... My eyes in that moment peering at the woman that's holding me... I was not happy... You want to see a wild Kitty human!!. I'll give you wild Kitty alright... I let out the meanest growl, taking a swipe at the crazy lady that's trying to feed me to this googally eyed monster.... But instead of giving me to the monster and letting me chew her face off.. she held me closer... "What a crazy lady"... But I'm beginning to love her... I can safely say..my instincts just get the better of me sometimes.
Count Orlock the Main C**n Cat Australia
